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Do you believe me?

(25 Posts)
bibbitybobbityhat Sat 17-Sep-11 22:44:43

My ddad died earlier this year. He had lung cancer so it was a fairly long drawn-out death. We were not particularly close and he wasn't the best dad in the world, but I was knocked for six by his death and did and still do feel very sad about his passing, particularly about the amount he suffered in his final months, and very very sad for his widow and his younger children (my half brothers and sister) who were much closer to him than I.

To the point: recently I had a dream and in it I was terminally ill. I had reached the point in the dream where I had to tell my children (who are only young) that I was going to die. It was extremely vivid and upsetting. We were sitting at picnic tables outside in a pub garden on holiday. I was very very sad and crying. But then, totally distinctly and right in my ear, I heard my dad say quite loudly "Bibbity, wake up, its just a dream, you are fine".

I know his voice was part of the dream, but it honestly felt like he was literally in my bedroom with me and he woke me up to stop me from upsetting myself.

Does anyone know what I mean?

hellhasnofury Sat 17-Sep-11 22:49:31


My sister died when I was 16 and she was almost 3. She had a disability and suffered terribly in her short life. Shortly after her death I saw her in her cot which was still in my parents room. It gave me great comfort to know she was still around us.

BecauseImWorthIt Sat 17-Sep-11 22:54:11

Yes, I do.

Some months before my mum died, I had a dream about her. It was incredibly vivid. She came through into a room I was in, stood in the doorway and exclaimed "I'm going to see my daddy!"". She was so vibrant and happy - positively radiant with happiness.

I knew, when I woke up and remembered the dream, that she was going to die. (She was being treated for cancer at the time - this wasn't just me having totally weird dreams).

I took, and have taken, great comfort in this dream, actually. And I know that may sound stupid. But it was so vivid, and she was so happy - and I know how much she loved her father - that it's impossible for me not to believe it.

It has also, I believe, helped me to grieve and come to terms with her death.

Scoundrel Sat 17-Sep-11 23:00:15

Three nights after my mum died, my SIL had a dream that she (my mum) was riding a bicycle round a roundabout. She stopped to say to my SIL 'I can't stop long I'm very very busy, but you mustn't worry!' then she cycled away. Why my mum chose my SIL to 'visit' I have no idea, perhaps she thought it would be too much for my brother or me.

I dreamt about my dad a few weeks after he died. It wasn't an ordinary dream it was one of those very vivid/different dreams. All my relatives were staying in a cottage and my dad was there, only I was the only person who could see him and he kept telling me that it was ok that they couldn't see him just so long as I could. All very strange and powerful stuff.

So yes, I believe you.

EggyAllenPoe Sat 17-Sep-11 23:04:18

yes i had one dream about Leo (no more) - he woke up to let me now he was really going to get better, he hadn't really died - we cuddled, then he had to go back to sleep. it was him. then i woke up happy. but it didn't last...

sad i did think it was him trying to make me feel better.

sorry to hear your dad passed on bibs you think you are mourning that you weren't closer?

i think dreams allow the brain to heal itself sometimes.

bibbitybobbityhat Sat 17-Sep-11 23:43:38

Eggy, I am sure it was Leo trying to make you feel better.

My mother has always said that her Dad came and spoke to her in the few weeks after he died. I sort of know what she means now.

Am feeling a bit blue tonight - one of my closest friends has just lost her Mum. Its sad, even though she was in her 80s, even though it wasn't tragic like the death of a child or baby (Eggy sad), its still very sad.

Rindercella Sun 18-Sep-11 00:17:20

Yes I know exactly what you mean Bibbity.

DH has 'shown' himself to me several different times over the last few months. Less frequently now, but he's still around I am sure of it. I asked him to do that too, before he died and he promised he would if he could. His Mum has also experienced it and so has one of his sisters. I have had just one dream about him since he died - that he wasn't really dead, that he recovered from his awful illness and was able to come home from the hospice. It was horrible waking up from that one.

One time, a couple of months after my father died I know he reached out for me. I was driving locally, along a country lane. It had just started raining and there was mud on the road. I suddenly felt my Dad really strongly with me in the car. The car slowed and I heard Dad telling me that wet mud was as bad as ice (he was a farmer, so he knew about mud!) and to slow down. I felt him hug me too. That was lovely and hugely comforting.

Eggy, lovely lady, hello & hope you're doing ok x

EggyAllenPoe Sun 18-Sep-11 12:49:17

hello rinders hope you and your super cute girlies are doing OK.

i think all death is tragic..its one of those things about life, you only get so long, and then its all over, you don't get to see the end of all the things you start with your family, you don't keep those important loved ones - your parents - all your life.

and when one of the older generation goes - however expected, - it makes you look at your own life and wonder where its headed, and whether you've done enough and been happy enough and whether you could do more....

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack Mon 19-Sep-11 12:27:26

I know what you mean!!

My mum died last year from lung cancer and when I dream about her she is always ill, dying and looks dreadful. One morning just before I was due to get up I was having a dream, not about her at all, and all of a sudden she appeared to me, looking beautiful and healthy, she drifted up to me, gave me a kiss and said "I am ok darling" and then she slowly drifted away.

I had gone to bed very upset that night and I really believe that it was her coming to me just to let me know she is ok. I have a spiritualist friend who confirmed this but said I would never see her that way again....and so far I havent. My dreams are back to being bad ones again so I know in my heart of hearts that she did come to me!

Eggy, I believe that is was your gorgeous boy back for a last cuddle xx

caramelwaffle Mon 26-Sep-11 23:31:54

Yes. I Do.

sh77 Tue 27-Sep-11 12:37:36

I most certainly do. So sorry for you loss. Hope your dad visits you again - you will gain much comfort.

I have seen my DD in my dreams 3 times. Last week, I saw my grandmother. I was in the kitchen of my previous flat (I moved to my new home in real life and it was on the 3rd night I saw her) and she appeared. I gave her a huge hug. She was silent, younger than when she passed away and so healthy looking. I took her to another room to see my DS. She then walked to my lounge and I asked her how DD was but she didn't say anything. I kept asking her but still silent. She walked back to the kitchen and closed the door. I opened the door and she was not there - there was just a pool of water on the kitchen top.

Some the posts remind me of the movie Truly, Madly, Deeply. Always makes me cry in a cathartic sort of way.

MrsDaffodill Tue 27-Sep-11 20:56:31

I do.

bushymcbush Tue 27-Sep-11 21:10:08

I believe you.

I had a very similar dream to Scoundrel's SIL, about a week after my mum died. In the dream I was walking down the road my mum and dad's house is on, towards town. My mum passed me on her bike, going the other way, towards home. She gave me a lovely smile and a big wave, but she didn't have time to stop and talk.

I've taken a lot of comfort from that dream.

mambo14 Sat 01-Oct-11 15:23:51

i believe you totally.

I had a really good friend who drowned. A couple of weeks later I had a very vivid dream that he called round to our house and came in soaking wet, his clothes were clinging to him and dripping all over the floor. He was smiling and calm and said 'I know you're going to be upset but I didn't want to leave before saying goodbye. I have to go and live somewhere else now, you won't be able to contact me but I just wanted to make sure I said goodbye to you because you are very special to me'....then we hugged and he left.

That dream left me with a huge sense of comfort that somehow it really was him.

t0lk13n Sat 01-Oct-11 15:30:54

I had a dream last night about my dad who died in August...he had my debit card. I don`t know why! I still had a moment this morning in the post office trying to remember where my card was!

shabbapinkfrog Sat 01-Oct-11 15:31:11

Another believer here. I know I must dream but I never remember my dreams.

BUT when we first moved into this house I went to wash up.....I glanced up at the window because something caught my eye. It was dark outside and my DS3 - Matt - was clearly stood, behind me, leaning over the bannister and grinning at me. I wanted to look at him and slowly turned my head around but he was not there. My DS1 saw him many times after his death (in 1992) always in school...when we asked the phsyciatrist about it she said 'They are called emotional hallucinations, and who are we to say they dont exist.'

teenyweenytadpole Sat 01-Oct-11 15:32:50

Yes I believe you. Not long after my Dad died I had the most vivid realistic dream that I saw him standing by the side of the road, I shouted to my husband to stop the car, and Dad leaned in through the car window to hug me. I was kissing him and crying and kept saying "is it really you? is it really you?". It was so lovely. I think it was his way of saying that he was still around. It was a really physical dream, so real. I think these types of dreams are very common, and very real.

I also received three text messages from him last week - see my thread here

DelGirl Sat 01-Oct-11 15:43:15


After my dh died, I had two vivid dreams. I've also had countless coincidences/things happen that make me almost certain that he is still around.

The 1st dream was at his 'wake', he was sat just watching everyone and hearing what was said. I can't remember if he talked to anyone but i wrote about the dream on here before.

The 2nd one is that i'd got up in the middle of the night and went downstairs to the kitchen which was exactly how I had left it the night before. Dh was there and I asked how/why as I knew he was dead. He said that he was often there just watching me without me knowing and sometimes he would listen to music when I wasn't there. truly madly deeply is how best to describe it. We kissed and hugged and it was a lovely dream/visit and I will never forget the comforting feeling

batteryhen Sun 09-Oct-11 16:23:47

When I was 23 my best friend was killed in a car crash. When I went home for the funeral I dreamt that I was in bed (in my room at my parents) with terminal lung cancer. My friend was sitting on my bed and got up to leave, and I said 'Don't leave me' and she turned and smiled at me and said 'I will never leave you', and then walked out of the room.

So yes I believe you x

Ilovedaintynuts Sun 09-Oct-11 21:06:07

Yes, when my grandmother died she appeared to me in a dream a few months later.

I was SO convinced and also felt she wanted to tell me something. I made an appointment with a medium. This medium brought my granny to me for over an hour and told me things that only my granny knew. She told me when and where I would meet my DH grin

It was amazing. I believe.

lilyliz Tue 11-Oct-11 21:01:49

so believe you,my mum appeared to me about 2 weeks after her death just walking along the opposite side of the street to me,she looked well and waved then vanished.I know it sounds a bit mad but true non the less.

trumpton Tue 11-Oct-11 21:22:35

I dreamt about my mum so clearly after she died. In my dream I went to see her body and leant over her and stroked her cheek and she opened her eyes and smiled at me .

I said " Oh Mum ! They said you had died ."

and she replied

" Oh darling ,they do exagerate !!"

She had a wicked sense of humour and still makes me smile even tho it is 4 years since she died.

Lilyloo Tue 11-Oct-11 21:27:14

I still occasionally have dreams about my mum nearly 10 years since she died. My mum was very young , 45 and died very quickly.
Oddly my dreams are very mundane but always include my dc's , my mum never met them , ds was born the year following her passing.
I always wake with a great sense of comfort that quickly goes when i realise it is a dream.
I think they do have a purpose.

ElectricSoftParade Tue 11-Oct-11 21:27:29

I believe you. I am not wooey or religious but I have had dreams about my dad, mam and sister. They were a great comfort and I have not forgotten them.

Whether they are 'real' or not, I do have some help from them and feel, for me, it was a sort of last goodbye.

My brother died this summer. I have not dreamed about him and it does not surprise me.

I am sorry for your loss.

scrappydappydoo Tue 11-Oct-11 21:36:09

I had a dream after my Dad died that I was in hospital and lying in a bed. All my family were gathered around me like I'd just woken from an operation. I saw my Dad standing there and was trying to convince them he was there but they kept trying to gently tell me he had died but he was just standing there smiling.

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