panicky funeral 'flashbacks' and 'what to do's'

[kendalmintcake]

Hi all, my sister was killed 3 yrs ago- she was found by a member of my family.

I now have a 2 yr old son and 3-8 times a week (today it was 3 times), keep having thoughts of 'if he slipped now he'd break his neck, what would I do, how would I get help etc'

I panic if I don't have my mobile with me and worry that I won't cope if he dies. How to arrange the funeral, what if no one turns up etc.I also worry about what will happen if I die, who will look after him (help DH) how my mum will cope etc.

Is this normal, do other people experience this?
Is it because I'm now a mum and it is a sign of being responsible for others?
Will it get 'better' (or worse) as he grows older :(

[thisisyesterday]

i am so sorry to hear about your sister

i think to some extent the thoughts you have are normal... it's something a lot of people experience.
but obviously it can happen in varying degrees and I would say that if it's becoming too much to deal with and if it's affecting your life and making you worry or behave irrationally then it's something that needs dealing with .

there are various therapies (such as CBT) that can help with dealing with negative thoughts... it might be worth a trip to the GP to discuss it?

[UrsulaBuffayHere2Help]

I'm sorry for your loss.

I had a loss while pg and although I think to some extent its normal to have this worry as a Mum, it definitely crossed over into anxiety and some pnd with me. I would recommend speaking to your GP, I had some counselling and took citalopram for around 7 months. Don't just put up with it.

[kendalmintcake]

thanks ladies, lovely to read your replies

[Mum1369]

Hi
I found I was extremely over protective. It was the only way I could deal with the thought of something else happening. I think it's a reasonably normal reaction to trauma. You have been through a terrible time and it just makes you more aware of how transient life is. But you also have to try and balance that with the fact that awful things do happen but they are statistically unlike to happen in most cases. I still am terribly over protective with my children but as time goes by I think you do learn to let go a little bit over time and to try and not spend so much of the time worrying. But ursula is right, if it's starting to feel like it's taking over everything and making you unhappy, then do seek help. That's what it's there for. No need to suffer without help. Counselling to put things into perspective can be a very straightforward way to help you day to day until things improve. But it is normal, at least it was for me, and it did ,does get better with time.