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Is it normal to feel guilty?

(6 Posts)
toptramp Sat 27-Aug-11 00:39:54

Mum passed away 2 months ago after battling cancer. I do feel so guilty though as we had a difficult relationship even though we got close when my dd was born 3 years ago (thank goodness)
I treated her like shit when I was growing up and I have made some awful decisions which have caused ehr so much worry. I have heard that stress causes cancer and I can't help feeling that if I hadn't caused her so much stress then she would still be here now. I know that this is bullshit but I can't shake the feeling. May have to go to councelling.

GreatNorksOfFire Sat 27-Aug-11 00:46:50

Oh God. You poor thing. I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. Cancer is a bastard, bastard disease.

Nothing you did caused your mother's cancer, please, please let that be clear.

Counselling will probably help you work through all of your emotions, which will be incredibly complex. If you haven't already, try Cruse

Please try and be kind to yourself. 2 months is still so very recent and raw.

Remember you gave your mother a precious gift - 3 years of knowing her Granddaughter.

Big hug to you xxx

jasper Sat 27-Aug-11 00:48:54

you did not cause her cancer.

Her death is still very recent , and losing your mum is a MASSIVE shock. It's such a primal thing.

I was discussing with my sister just last week that mum dying changed me more than becoming a parent/ giving birth. My sister agreed.
You are grieving for your mum and also for the wasted years when you were less than kind as a daughter. It's a process you have to go through and it takes time x
YOU DID NOT CAUSE HER CANCER

toptramp Sat 27-Aug-11 23:07:37

Thanks both of you. I do know that I am being silly and that it isn't my fault but I know it wasn'r mum's fault either as she didn't smoke and got tongue cancer. It is the sheer randomness and untimelyness and unfairness that gets me.

2shoes Sat 27-Aug-11 23:20:29

so sorry for your loss
I know that feeling, my mum died when I was 18 and tbh I was a cow, so caught up in my own teen life I was horrid.
I was lucky though as I told my dad and him and he helped me get over the guilt.
you didn't cause her cancer, all children cause parents worry of some sort, so don't blame your self xx

cat64 Sat 27-Aug-11 23:32:57

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