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My dad has just died and my childhood home is now for sale. didn't realise how painful it is....

(9 Posts)
lisalisa Mon 22-Aug-11 21:11:27

Obviously my mum has to sell it as she wants to move closer to me but I suddenly feel so sad about it. The home where I grew up and was nurtured and loved - just on the market and with people trampling through it. Guess this is just another painful aspect of bereavement....

Katisha Mon 22-Aug-11 21:13:13

Yes I don't think you can underestimate that one.
I understand completely.

Lilyloo Mon 22-Aug-11 21:14:59

Yeah it is hard but also ime a very positive move for the parent left behind.

magicOC Sun 28-Aug-11 19:25:26

I know exactly where you are coming from Lisa. Went thru the same thing nearly 6yrs ago. Both parents had passed and my sister (who owned the house) put it up for sale.

It was another part of the grieving process for me, coming to terms with the loss of my last surviving parent, the loss of the centre of the family and of course the house was also the centre of lots of good/bad/happy/sad events throughout my life.

I had to allow myself to go thru that grieving process. I cried when I went for one final visit to the house. For me there was no point in trying to hold back the tears, it would have only prolonged the pain. I had to accept that it was only bricks and mortar. Memories live on in your heart and no one can take that away from you no matter how many people walk thru that house.

Hoping you can find that peace too.

Thinking of you Lisa.


spanishbint Mon 29-Aug-11 23:45:51

hi lisa thinking of you my mum passed away in march am still finding it hard house was sold in 6 wks it seems my chidhood at the age of 64 has gone hope you feel better as time goes on as i hope the same for me

MrsSchadenfreude Tue 30-Aug-11 07:11:32

Hi Lisalisa,

I know how you feel. After my father died, she decided she didn't want anyone else to live in the house, and sold the land to developers. My childhood home is no more, and there are three nasty new "executive homes" on the land. I went past them the other day when I was back in UK, and they just look so wrong - all glitzy remote controlled gates, in a quiet country lane. On the plus side, they have kept some of the trees and my mother's plants, but the orchard is entirely gone.

Avantia Tue 30-Aug-11 07:26:42

Hi Lisa,

I went through this about 18 months ago .My Mum died about 4 yrs ago then 18 months ago my Dad died - so family house was sold .

However a new young family has move into it - done some much needed work to it and it is a family home again .

It is avery sad and painful but as you say another asepct of bereavement.

Thinking of you.

flimflammery Tue 30-Aug-11 07:33:36

Sorry for your loss Lisa. My mum died last year and my dad couldn't cope on his own so eventually moved into a home and he sold the house my family moved into when I was seven. What I found especially hard was that I'm abroad so my siblings had the job of clearing out all my parents' things and deciding what happened to them, and I felt like my past was slipping away like sand through my fingers.
It's all part of letting go, isn't it? And yes, it's painful.
Be gentle with yourself x

aristocat Tue 30-Aug-11 22:33:52

so sorry for your loss Lisa sad
i lost my parents within 6 months of each other and had to sell their house, sadly it is a very difficult thing to do.
i didnt want to live in the house myself (without my parents) and the thought of renting it was awful, so it was put up for sale - however the buyers have since moved on.

hopefully like me you have lots and lots of happy memories from there.
be kind to yourself and your mom x

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