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Grief - my mum dies at aged 60 a month ago yesterday...

(4 Posts)
notevenamousie Tue 21-Jun-11 19:22:06

Everyone says it is "complicated", including the lovely, kind and experienced palliative care Consultant.

But my mum died a month ago yesterday and she was 60. It was long and drawn out (6 weeks in hospital followed by 5 weeks in the hospice) and as comfortable as the very best of modern palliative care could make it (tho still distressed and tough).

I was called given "hours to a day or two" at 2200 so 10pm - a week before she died - so the week that followed meant I spent what I could with her despite how VERY hard it was, much less time than I should have with my 4 year old though we have talked much, and she (DD) would change nothing, about the way that 'grandma' was looked after by 'mummy'. ((I hardly slept and was not at home nearly as much as I would have liked))

Having worked nights for much of my working life, family enabled me to do the nights that followed. All 7 of them. Even though I am the "failed" single mum.

Anyway, it's done now.
I am back at work after time off a lot because of mum and now running out of paid sick leave.
My aunt and sister want me to sort out mum's things.
I am barely making it through the day as a mum and remembering my own mum.

I was offered bereavement counselling and support at the same time today and I said yes please.
Is that reasonable? I am not sorting clothes, paintings, bank statements, shredding, house, plants, belongings. I just am not ready. I miss my mum and I have a lot to talk about (over a lot of time...). If the house doesn't sell for "a year or two"(solicitor) I don't mind. But there is so much to say. AIBU to want to say it or at least to tell how I feel???

notevenamousie Tue 21-Jun-11 19:24:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bibbitybobbityhat Tue 21-Jun-11 19:26:45

All my sympathies.

Why are your aunt and sister in such a hurry to sort through your mothers things? Who did she live with?

notevenamousie Wed 22-Jun-11 02:22:20

She lived alone since I moved out 12 years ago.
It was just my mum and I the 5 years before that as my sister lived with my dad. Until mum was ill, it was me that did the majority of the visits and phone calls.

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