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my dear dad died yesterday!

(16 Posts)
trace2 Sat 18-Jun-11 17:45:38

i lost my dear wonderful dad yesterday to the horrible lung cancersad , i miss him so much already i have looked after him now since mum died 7 half years ago, just dont know how to fill the gap in? its my sons 9th birthday today and am really struggling to be happy for himsad

ajandjjmum Sat 18-Jun-11 17:48:25

I am so sorry.

I've just come back from my Dad's grave - 8 years on and still miss him so much. But as time's gone by all of the good memories have been a huge comfort.

Your son is old enough to understand how difficult today is for you - hope he's got some extra hugs going. smile

sharbie Sat 18-Jun-11 17:49:51

sorry to hear sad news

roguepixie Sat 18-Jun-11 17:53:06

trace2 - so sorry for your loss.

boolifooli Sat 18-Jun-11 17:58:12

Sorry to hear about your dear Dad. Thinking of you.

Primalscream Sat 18-Jun-11 17:58:53

I'm so sorry - I lost my dad on new years day ( 2011) and I'm still coming to terms with it ( still cry ) - Tomorrow will be so hard as I'll be going to visit his grave rather than visit him as I always used to on fathers day.
It's my sons birthday on boxing day and I was struggling to make his birthday happy last year knowing my dad was dying / so I know exactly what you're going through - sending you love and strength xx

Sexonlegs Sat 18-Jun-11 18:03:10

Trace, I am so sorry about your Dad sad

I lost my wonderful Mum on New Years Eve and the loss is still heavy in my heart.

I hope you have someone looking out for you.

Take care

JaneBennet Sat 18-Jun-11 18:04:54

So sorry to hear of your loss. Give your son some extra hugs today.

Avantia Sat 18-Jun-11 18:12:29

So sorry to hear that .

Have also lost my Dad just over a year ago and my Mum 4 yrs ago.

Your son will understand you loss - never underestimate children at times like this . My eldest was 9 when Dad past away and was a tower of strength.

Thinking of you x

trace2 Sat 18-Jun-11 19:33:41

THANK YOU EVERYONE for the kind words i just keep wanting to go and see him, i spent loads of time there last few weeks with him being ill. and all i can see is his is last few breaths i want to remember him before he was ill how do i block it out?

Shoesytwoesy Sat 18-Jun-11 19:37:04

so very sorry for your loss xx

ajandjjmum Sat 18-Jun-11 19:49:02

The next few weeks is going to be hard trace, but you will start remembering his laugh and smile, and it will start getting easier.

I hated the memory of my Dad dying, but I don't think about that now, I just think of the happier things - can even laugh now remembering his irritating habits!

Take care.

Sexonlegs Sat 18-Jun-11 19:55:20


I know what you mean about remembering the illness and decline and the end of life; I still have flashbacks after 6 months.

I believe it is just a matter of time when those memories will go and the good ones will take over.

Love and strength to you.xx

OberonTheHopeful Sat 18-Jun-11 19:56:29

Hi trace2, so sorry for your loss sad. My dad died last year after a very long illness. I was with him when he died and for a while it was all I could think of but now I can look back and remember all of the joyful times I spent with him over the years. And yes like ajandjjmum chuckle at his (so very many) silly habits.

crispyseaweed Sat 18-Jun-11 20:03:45

Sending you heartfelt sympathies and hugs. My Dad nearly died in January but he has heart failure and is 83yrs so I have it all to come.
I am sure in time you soon start to come to terms about the loss of your Dad.
I hope you have family to share your loss, be around you; and know that your Dad is smiling down on you from up above. I really believe when our loved ones pass over to the spirit world they are still there around us; we just cant see them. They know what we are doing and still love us , as we do them.

kaumana Sat 18-Jun-11 20:19:28


I was with my mum when she passed (two years ago today), I understand your feelings re the illness and being with your darling dad in his last moments.

Yes, I did get flashbacks too for a time but that will pass and gradually you will remember the happy times that you shared which will put a smile on your face rather than tears.

Take care xx

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