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Are you in the 'sandwich generation'?

(8 Posts)
flow4 Sat 18-Jun-11 11:07:33

I'm a single mum who's also recently had to take on caring for my elderly - and now dying - father. There isn't a Mumsnet topic on this yet, but I guess more and more of us are finding ourselves in this 'sandwich generation'. Is there anyone else out there? I'm on totally new ground, and trying to prepare myself for bereavement.

I'm blogging about this too: Stuck in the Sandwich It's not always cheery reading, I admit, but there IS humour, honest! You might like to have a look at it if you're in a similar situation.

suburbophobe Sun 19-Jun-11 10:58:12

Great! I have opened your blog and will check it out later.

I am also a single mum (of a teenager!) and have been caring for elderly parents for the last few years, feels like a rollercoaster really....

My dad passed away end of last year and my mum, who has alzheimers is in a care home.

So been dealing with their house too, and exams/university entrance all at the same time.

I know one day in the future I will get my life back grin

flow4 Sun 19-Jun-11 11:30:27

Haha, yes, I think you've gotta keep grinning to keep sane, suburbophobe!
I just hope I'll recognise my life when I get it back!

My dad is still at home: he refused admission to hospital earlier this week, and there isn't a hospice place for him yet... Only 16 places in our whole local authority area (where there are nearly 400,000 people) It's hard supporting him at home, though I understand absolutely why he doesn't want to go into hospital.
Here's my latest post:

suburbophobe Sun 19-Jun-11 12:11:13

Oh, I really feel for you with your dad, almost the exact same situation I was in the last half of last year......

Wishing you all the strength in dealing with it.

Haven't got time to look at the blog right now as have to go out to visit my mum soon.

Certainly know what you mean when you say about recognising your own life.....I'm like "where did it go??"

Yes, you've got to keep your sanity in the midst of it, and whatever helps, humour, good friends, soothing music, lying on the sofa with a good book or film......

flow4 Sun 19-Jun-11 22:53:17

Thank you suburbophobe. My brother came over cos it was fathers day, and my youngest was at his dad's, so I went for a swim and sauna... It wasn't totally problem-free but I feel a bit more relaxed now smile
Hope you had a nice visit with your mum smile

bude1 Mon 20-Jun-11 14:55:39

Yes I have been there. Lost dad 20 years ago. I had been helping to care for Mum until she passed away in March. I have 2 infant age dc and its hard.

cat64 Mon 20-Jun-11 15:05:37

Message withdrawn

trumpton Mon 20-Jun-11 15:09:09

Been there too. We had lived next door to my Dad for 18 years and I nursed him til the end. Mum and dad were divorced many years ago and Mum had Altzheimers . She died 8 months before Dad. I supported her at her home for as long as possible and then she went into a wonderful residential home. Now have DD and her DH next door( in Dad's house) with their baby and I care for 88 year old MIL who lives 2 miles away. Still have 26 year old DD2 at home and a DS who lives in next town and is dreadfully depressed and very needy.

Yup. I know your life. Wishing you well.

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