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How to support a friend?

(5 Posts)
Verysadfriend Tue 14-Jun-11 11:48:55

I had my 3rd baby 2 weeks ago and I have a close friend who was expecting her 3rd next week. I found out today that her baby died yesterday and am absolutely devastated for her. Our children are all good friends and we talked often about how exciting it was to be expecting at the same time again.

I don't know what to do for her to support her. I have texted her to let her know my love is with her but this is such a hard situation, I think my baby will be such a 'hurt?' to her. I really want to do the right thing but don't know what that is.

Can anyone offer some advice. I am really hurting for her.

carocaro Tue 14-Jun-11 12:17:54

Send her a letter/card, call her. I do think a text is a little impersonal. Can you go over later when you children are in bed? The last thing you must do is ignore her by being blinded by your own understandable feelings, she needs to feel loved and supported through this.

everlong Tue 14-Jun-11 13:39:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Verysadfriend Tue 14-Jun-11 13:47:17

Thanks for your replies. I will call her and see her as soon as she is up to calls and visitors. It only happened yesterday and she is still in hospital.

MissCurious Tue 14-Jun-11 19:59:50

Hi very sad friend. My neighbour (where I used to live) had a still birth a few years back. She is coping and she said that the best thing for her was when I rattled on about the weather and general stuff and when I went with the flow with her (she went through a really weird stage, I can't quite explain it but we ended up doing a spontanious road trip which lasted half an hour before she decided to go back lol). So many people act funny around those who've had a great loss so i'd suggest that when she's up for company a cup of chocolate (wine not such a good idea but whatever you thing) and think of something funny to talk about (maybe something your other half did that was silly). Bridget Jones is always a good "mindless numb because we've all seen it" choice or if she was into Friends then a box set evening might do the trick.

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