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getting worse day by day.

(10 Posts)
plymouthmaid Fri 10-Jun-11 15:32:19

I have posted on here previously abou my lovely mum who died 6 weeks ago. As the time is going on I am finding it harder and harder to deal with. I cry every day and feel so alone even though my family is supportive, loving and just generally wonderful. I cant believe I am never going to see her again and this feeling of loss seems to be increasing day by day. I dont know what to do.

boohoohoo Fri 10-Jun-11 15:48:55

Plymouth, I'm so sorry, it's truly awful. All I can offer is my experience, my mum died 14 years ago and I still miss her every day, that will never change. However, the pain does lessen. One day you will wake up and your mum will not be the first thing you think off, one day you will start to feel happy again, one day you will be able to remember very happy memories of your mum and smile, because you were truly blessed to have that wonderful person in your life.

Grief is so hard, there are no time limits on it, please allow the people around you to 'take over' and you take the time to cry. But be gentle with yourself, your mum would want you to. Six weeks us so soon, but I promise you it will get easier, you will find a way to live with it, you probably won't even realise it for a while, but it will come.

And talk, as much as you want to, as much as you need to, take much care xx

plymouthmaid Fri 10-Jun-11 15:51:51

Thanks Boo that was really helpful thanks for your support xx

JoinTheDots Fri 10-Jun-11 15:57:10

I am so sorry for your loss.

I remember thinking my grief was like a giant balloon of pain inside me, inflating a little more each day. I also wondered when it would end, but its one of those things that creeps up on you, as boohoo said. One day you wake up and it is just not quite as unbearable. For me its now been a year since I lost mum, and 12 years since dad. I still think of both of them everyday, but its more fondly than painfully now.

Don't rush yourself though, lean on your support network as much as you need to for as long as you need to. Most importantly keep talking and dont shut down your feelings.

Sending you love.

boohoohoo Fri 10-Jun-11 16:16:39

Another thing Plymouth, keep coming on here to talk, or to write thoughts/feelings down, I'll keep checking to see if your here. I remember feeling quite lonely even though there were people around me, I've always thought that maybe if MN or something similar was around when my parents died i would have written in here for some support. I always worried about boring people in real life!

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack Fri 10-Jun-11 16:56:24

"Plymouth" - darling it is so early days for you.....six weeks is no time at all. Mum lovely mum died almost 10 months ago now and I still have moments of total despair and non belief.

I bought a bookm "Motherless daughters" -from Amazon. It may be a bit early for you yet but bear it in mind, it is very insightful.

Just be kind to yourself.........as the book says, it takes 9 months to make a life, how can you expect to be anywhere over it?????

It's a very lonely time, no matter who you have around you its still lonely.

Take care!

plymouthmaid Fri 10-Jun-11 17:37:46

Thankyou all so much. The way you all talk about how you feel/felt really reson ates with me.xxx

gingegirl Sat 11-Jun-11 22:43:16

So sorry for the loss of your mum!!! My dad died when I was 11 and that was 18 years ago now. I was such a daddies girl and I honestly thought at the time life wasn't worth living!!! Day by day you will start to feel better, I know it doesn't feel like it now!!
I still think of my dad every day, my wedding day was so hard, but I got through it! I often cry when I think of him, and wonder what he would think of me now?
Time is a great healer and just take each day as it comes! My son died just 5 weeks ago he was 2 and I'm at the beginning of the process again! Life seems so difficult at the moment but I'm holding on because I know in time the pain will become manageable, and so will yours!
My love to you and your family! Xx

plymouthmaid Sun 12-Jun-11 15:16:39

I am so sorry ginge that is dreadful. You are so kind to be supportive of me when you are going through such a hideous experience.
My love to you and your family. xx

greenrock Sun 12-Jun-11 22:22:39

Hi Plymouth, sorry for your loss. My Dad died two weeks ago and I'm also wondering when things will start to feel better. I went back to work last week as I have a horrible boss and couldn't face asking her for time off. Now I'm dreading going in again tomorrow. I don't feel capable of doing my job yet I think that after two weeks every seems to expect me to have moved on.

I feel really low today and my DS even told me to 'brighten up' which had quite the opposite effect! I too have a wonderful supportive family and being with them is the only time I feel normal. My close friends have been lovely but I get the feeling that even they expect me to be feeling better.

It's so hard isn't it? I hope you take the time to grieve and soon things get easier.

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