Who can help me now?

(25 Posts)
Amyjade Wed 09-Nov-05 22:52:30

Since the loss of my precious little girl to meningitis in April i have recieved only minimal counceling from a lady at the childrens hospice where dd died but she left 2 months ago and since then i have had noone profesional to talk to.
Where can i seek help? i feel i need to talk my feelings through with someone but not sure where to turn to for help?
In the past i have been given helpline numbers and joined compassionate friends but i would prefer to talk to someone face to face.
Should i go to GP for advice?

OP’s posts: |
bunny2 Wed 09-Nov-05 23:01:27

someone will be here with advice soon. I wish I could help more. you must be literally heartbroken.

bunny2 Wed 09-Nov-05 23:07:03

please go to your gp. you must get some support. There should be local groups to support you.

Amyjade Wed 09-Nov-05 23:08:09

My heart broke in two the day she died, she was my whole life, such a wonderfull little girl so happy and so very loved by her mummy and daddy our lives have been totally shattered.
But my future is the dear little girl i gave birth to only 8 weeks after losing dd, she needs her mummy so i am battling through this life for her sake.
Things are getting hard to deal with at the moment though with christmas coming up etc so i need to be able to talk to someone.

OP’s posts: |
bunny2 Wed 09-Nov-05 23:09:17

I am sure there are local groups. Can you ask your health visitor. I cant believe you have been left to deal with this on your own.

bunny2 Wed 09-Nov-05 23:10:56

here

Amyjade Wed 09-Nov-05 23:14:31

You wouldn't believe the lack of support for bereaved parents, thank god i had the childrens hospice for support in the early days.
Compassionate friends have been a help but even there support group only meets every 3 months and it's 45 minutes drive away!
Hopefully Gp can refer me to someone or i might have to go private.

OP’s posts: |
aloha Wed 09-Nov-05 23:17:12

I don't know Amyjade, and I can only offer you enormous sympathy. You must miss your little girl so much. How old was she when she died? She was clearly very much loved.

Amyjade Wed 09-Nov-05 23:18:41

She was 19 months old and i miss her every waking moment of the day.

OP’s posts: |
aloha Wed 09-Nov-05 23:20:48

so for you. What a terrible thing to happen. How awful to say goodbye to your child. You clearly need support. Anyone would. I would strongly recommend you talk to your GP about finding a counsellor and maybe a more local support group.
I wish you well. I am lost for words really.

bunny2 Wed 09-Nov-05 23:23:30

Amyjade, Im off to bed now. Stay online, there will be some support here. And please see your gp tomorrow. I wish I could help more.

Heathcliffscathy Wed 09-Nov-05 23:25:26

amyjade, where are you based. there are numerous low-cost counselling services available but they are usually catchment limited (i.e. living and working in a certain london borough)...

i'm so sorry about your dd. i'm so sorry that you've received next to no support.

hope you get lots of support on here and if you need any further info re low-cost counselling CAT me.

aloha Wed 09-Nov-05 23:26:02

yes, I'm off too (at last!). Make that appointment with your GP. YOu are not the only bereaved parent on MN, so I'm sure someone else will post with more experience.

Amyjade Wed 09-Nov-05 23:26:55

Thankyou Bunny2 and Aloha for you kind words.
Life has been so cruel to us to lose a child at such a young age is something i will never get over, i think just time will heal the raw pain i am feeling now and the fact that my future lies with my other children as what sort of life will dd2 have without a mummy and a sister!
Will call GP tomorrow for advice. x

OP’s posts: |
aloha Wed 09-Nov-05 23:28:40

Goodnight Amyjade. I am sure you will be a wonderful mother to your dd, just as you were to your firstborn.

UCM Wed 09-Nov-05 23:37:55

Can't even begin to understand. Sending Best Wishes...xxxx

bunny2 Thu 10-Nov-05 11:57:09

how are you today? Did you call your gp?

Marina Thu 10-Nov-05 12:09:13

Amyjade, do ask your GP, and maybe also go back to the hospice where your dear daughter died, maybe they can recommend someone local.
I know from my SANDS experiences that group support in the UK for bereaved parents is great when it is there but very patchy across the country as a whole.

I see that the Meningitis Foundation offers a 24 hour helpline for people whose lives have been destroyed by this cruel illness. Call them, they have a Befrienders' Network (like SANDS do).

Thinking of you, especially as right now another Mumsnetter is under the shadow of meningitis. You were good to post and encourage her to take her gut instincts seriously. XXX

bundle Thu 10-Nov-05 12:12:49

Amyjade, I'm really sorry to hear about the death of your little girl. I know you said you wanted to talk face-to-face, but if it helps at all, try the Child Death Helpline, it's staffed by other parents who've lost a child and I met some of them (near to Great Ormond St hospital)they were very nice people -

0800 282296

it's open every evening 7.00 p.m. to 10.00 p.m.
Monday to Friday mornings 10.00 a.m. to 1.00 p.m.
and Wednesday afternoons 1.00 - 4.00 p.m.

maggie61 Thu 10-Nov-05 18:00:02

so sorry to hear about your little girl,my little boy died july 2001, we were crossing a road together, we should of stopped in the central island, but i did not have hold of him and he ran in an oncoming car, he was 2 years and 10 months.
life goes on it is nothing like it used to be, it is like a huge rock was thrown in my pool, sending crashing waves out everywhere, it settles down but the rock will always be there, every now and then a storm arrives and disturbs it all again, time has taught me that the storms come less frequently now, and i cope better as i know they come and go.
on good days i can now cope with our loss and try and convince myself that we were fortunate to have had our times together and his life has given us some precious gifts, but the bad times come and i think of all he is missing.
it does get easier, it is still very, very early stages for you, although i know it will seem an eternity since you last saw that lovely little face, allow yourself to grieve and be how you need to be, remember her ,keep talking about her to all those that know her, or will listen to you, we don,t have them with us but we have our memories to cherish and live on.
take good care of yourself,sending you hugs and my best wishes to go on.

bundle Thu 10-Nov-05 18:02:28

oh maggie what a terribly sad story

maggie61 Thu 10-Nov-05 18:18:17

i suppose it does come across as sad, but i am trying to be positive also for amyjade.

bundle Thu 10-Nov-05 18:19:27

it definitely does come across as positive too. i try to speak to my friend whose son died in the summer as much as possible about him, but she's now finding it hard to look at photos of him.

Amyjade Thu 10-Nov-05 19:30:18

Thankyou Maggie.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your little boy and i really appreciate your message.
At the moment i cling to every bit of hope i am given from bereaved parents who have lost a young child.
It is hard to imagine a day when i can smile again and enjoy life because every day is a battle for me, every memory tears me up inside, every time i look at her pretty face in photo's it reminds me how i miss her and need to hold her again.
My heart is truly broken but i know from other peoples stories that i will get through this, i know my life has changed forever but i hope like you that i can feel my life was blessed to have been given this precious little girl even if it was only for 19 months.
Take care x

OP’s posts: |
swedishmum Thu 10-Nov-05 22:03:02

I've never suffered anything like you - my baby was only 24 hours when she died so we didn't have all those memories to make it so hard. But since 1995 when it happened my life has got much better. My 4 lovely children are my life.
I so hope you get the support you need and though my experience was nothing as traumatic as yours it will get easier - it has to for your baby.
Thinking of you.

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