Today one of our boys (not my birth kids, long story, but they're ours) broke down, I mean properly, utterly dissolved over the death of his Mum. I've been with him since the very moment she died and I'd never seen him like this till today. Whatever set him off happened this morning at school, my OH picked him up and brought him home, called me and we met there.
This bit probably sounds totally stupid to you proper parents, but we didn't know what the hell to do. He's such a wonderful kid and we're such total amateurs, it's not fair on him. Neither of us had any experience of parenting until . My OH and I cuddled him and tried to console him but he wasn't just upset, he was angry too and with good cause, it's just shit that he's having to go through this. He started to shout and scream at us and say things I know he didn't mean. My OH's idea was to go out, to go surfing because he said the little guy needed to connect with something bigger than himself. So we let him calm down and persuaded him to come out with us.
After a couple hours of being out, we could finally talk. We're not religious people, so we can't talk to him about God, but we tried to explain to him that people are kind of like the waves, they come and they go but we're all part of the ocean. We're trying to teach him that death is part of life, I guess. It's completely crap that we have to do this with such a little one I know, but it's part of his little life now.
Now I'm wondering, did we do the right thing? What would you have done?
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11 replies
henrysmate · 10/05/2011 22:17
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