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Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

Bereavement

I carried my baby to term even though I knew he was going to die

19 replies

nicolasuzanne6322 · 17/04/2011 00:04

Almost 21 months ago, I lost my beautiful baby boy, Benjamin. He went full term but lived for only 27 precious hours. Benjamin was diagnosed at 22 weeks with Patau syndrome, a syndrome simply not compatible with life. In recent weeks and months, I have realized that I needed to share my story with others in the hope that it may help and bring strength to those who need it or maybe even help someone who is faced with a difficult decision to make. We continued with the pregnancy even though we knew Benjamin would die soon after he was born. It is the best decision we ever made. It has truly been a life changing experience. I feel so blessed to be Mummy to such a beautiful and special little spirit. It has been difficult to revisit every detail of our experience but I'm so glad that I did as the support has been overwhelming and to know that it has touched people means that it was worth it. My story is at www.ourbeautifulbenjamin.blogspot.com I hope it helps in some small way. With much love, Nicola xxxx

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AimingForSerenity · 17/04/2011 00:08

Beautiful post Nicola, truly inspiring.

God bless you.

MavisEnderby · 17/04/2011 00:10

I am so sorry for your loss,nicolassuzanne,will look at your site.

Are you aware of //SANDS.org.uk

Sending you a big unmumsnetly hug x

blackeyeddog · 17/04/2011 00:12

I agree, how inspiring. Love to Benjamin and to you. x

chipmonkey · 17/04/2011 00:17

Bless you, Nicola, I have read your blog and was very moved by it. Benjamin was a lucky little boy to have such a lovely family and I'm so sorry he couldn't stay with you in body although he is with you in spirit.
Thank you for sharing your story.

iknowanoldlady · 19/04/2011 19:41

I have just read your blog and have been moved by it in a way I didn't see coming. It was just beautiful, and I think you did an amazing thing in giving Benjamin life and love. It has altered my thinking about how I would react were I to receive similar news. I know that Benjamin's memory will live on in your lovely family. x

FoxyRevenger · 20/04/2011 13:51

Your blog is lovely, I am now in tears. What a beautiful boy.

xxx

LouMacca · 20/04/2011 14:31

Thank you for sharing. Benjamin was truly blessed to have such a lovely family. So sorry that you lost him, he was beautiful x x

AxisofEvil · 21/04/2011 17:52

Nicola, I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of Benjamin. I don't know if you have seen it but here is a special thread for mums who have lost their children here
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/bereavement/1194723-Our-Children-budded-on-earth-to-bloom-in-heaven

Do please join us if you would like - either now or at some point in the future.

All the best

AxisofEvil · 21/04/2011 17:53

Nicola, I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of Benjamin. I don't know if you have seen it but here is a special thread for mums who have lost their children here
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/bereavement/1194723-Our-Children-budded-on-earth-to-bloom-in-heaven

Do please join us if you would like - either now or at some point in the future.

All the best

(reported hopefully with link)

WriterofDreams · 21/04/2011 19:57

What a beautiful story, thanks for sharing it. Your son was a lucky boy to have parents like you.

SingingSands · 21/04/2011 20:19

What a heartbreaking and moving story, you write beautifully about your beautiful son. You brought a life into this world and he knew only love during his time here.

Thank you for sharing Benjamin with us xx

TotorosOcarina · 21/04/2011 20:26

You son was absolutly beautiful and he was so lucky to have you - and you him, even for such a short time.

x

takewhatyoucan · 21/04/2011 20:30

That is inspiring, thank you for sharing Benjamin's story with us.

You are very brave to have revisited all those moments - take comfort in the fact that in doing so, you are really helping others who will be going through similar experiences.

flyingspaghettimonster · 25/05/2011 23:39

He is beautiful and I think you did a wonderful thing in giving him that extra time and a chance to meet you all. Thankyou for sharing him with us.

PenguinArmy · 26/05/2011 18:48

heartbreaking but absolutely inspiring

TiredMule · 27/05/2011 16:34

Such an inspiring blog. Benjamin was a very lucky little boy to have such a loving family. I'm sure in that in his short time with you Benjamin felt huge amounts of love. Thank you for sharing with us x x x

ohmeohmy · 27/05/2011 17:20

what a wonderful mum and dad all your children have. Wishing you all the best.

KarenHL · 27/05/2011 21:34

Nicola,

We had a similar situation last year. We were told at the 20wk scan that there was a problem - nine weeks later it was confirmed he had polycystic kidney disease and he was unlikely to survive. we had a lot of pressure from the Hospital to terminate (and from some family) - they could not understand our decision.

Thank you for opening your blog, it is not just helpful for those of us who've been through it; it will also help those who haven't been through it to have some insight. Not only that, it could help anyone who is in the situation now - where we are, it appears there was a lot of support available for people who were willing to terminate, but none if you wanted to continue the pregnancy.

Thankyou.

neverforgethowmuchiloveyou · 27/05/2011 22:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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