I think we have had this title before but it seems appropriate for spring
I have started this thread in honour of all our children but particularly Fraser who would have been 7 today. Happy birthday son we still miss you dearly. You will always be our firstborn and we always remember you in our hearts
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Bereavement
Our Children budded on earth to bloom in heaven
973 replies
frasersmummy · 15/04/2011 08:12
OP posts:
everlong ·
15/04/2011 10:32
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travellingwilbury ·
15/04/2011 18:38
I have actually gone to the beach on a windy day and had a good old scream 
It did make me feel better though .
My Sils were the worst , they would walk past my house most days (one lived abut 6 doors away) but never come and see me . But if we ever managed to go out and meet friends for a drink and try and be a wee bit "normal" they would then pick that night to turn up pissed and tearful . I was always very good and would tell them how it made me feel and I would love it if they just popped in for a coffee sometimes . They never did .
Some people just choose to believe that anything can be ignored and justify it to themselves . Or they are wankers ???
spilttheteaagain ·
15/04/2011 18:40
Oh sod it. Here is the whole poem - it's quite long though 
Please See Through My Tears
?You asked, ?How are you doing??
As I told you, tears came to my eyes?.and you looked
away and quickly began to talk again.
All the attention you had given me drained away.
?How am I doing?? ?.I do better when people listen,
though I may shed a tear or two.
This pain is indescribable. If you?ve never known it, you
cannot fully understand. Yet I need you.
When you look away,
When I?m ignored,
I am again alone with it.
Your attention means more than you can ever know.
Really, tears are not a bad sign, you know!
They?re nature?s way of helping me heal?
They relieve some of the stress of sadness.
I know you fear that asking how I?m doing brings me sadness
??..but you?re wrong
The memory of my loved one?s death will always be with me,
Only a thought away.
My tears make my pain more visible to you, but you did not
give me the pain???it was already there.
When I cry, could it be that you feel helpless,
not knowing what to do?
You are not helpless,
And you don?t need to do a thing but be there.
When I feel your permission to allow my tears to flow,
you?ve helped me.
You need not speak. Your silence as I cry is all I need.
Be patient?..do not fear.
Listening with your heart to ?how I am doing?
relieves the pain,
for when the tears can freely come and go, I feel lighter.
Talking to you releases what I?ve been wanting to say aloud,
clearing space for a touch of joy in my life.
I?ll cry for a minute or two?
and then I?ll wipe my eyes,
and sometimes you?ll even find I?m laughing later.
When I hold back the tears, my throat grows tight,
my chest aches, my stomach knots?
because I?m trying to protect you from my tears.
Then we both hurt?.me, because my pain is held inside,
a shield against our closeness??and you,
because suddenly we?re distant.
So please, take my hand and see me through my tears?
then we can be close again.?
peterpansmum ·
15/04/2011 23:07
I just want to give you a hug xx I so cannot believe it has almost been a year. Loads of tears here today.
I am slightly pissed tonight - have had a rough day today and yesterday too but think i've blitzed it with wine tonight
Spilt - that poem is so appropriate - and Cheese - many many of mine and my dh's families have been utterly crap these last two years but looking back i reckon they were crap before that it just takes something like painful grief to show how shockingly bad they really are. I have taken time to heal the relationships that matter to me and taken a step back from the relationships that don't matter so much... maybe one day these people will deal wth my grief, maybe they won't - maybe by then it will be too late for me, who knows? but i aint wasting any more of my precious energy on them - I have realised that i cannot force them to deal with it. Cherish the ones who are good for you and as far as the ones that are not so good....do whatever your instincts tell you to do xxxx
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