Clearing out home.

(6 Posts)
fan79 Tue 12-Apr-11 15:40:27

In the process of clearing out late mums home. I am finding the whole thing much harder than I ever imagined. Any tips to cope with this. I do have help.

OP’s posts: |
Kandinsky Tue 12-Apr-11 16:00:26

Do it in stages. If you have the space box up personal things and put them somewhere so you can can go through them at your leisure later. I also found this extremely difficult and absolutely exhausting. Concentrate on what you might want to keep and get rid of toiletries/clothes as quickly as possible. Taking things to charity shops makes it feel less useless. In my case we were emptying a whole house when only one of them had died. Throwing things away belonging to someone who is still alive ( in a care home and unable to respond) seemed so utterly disloyal.

I am so sorry for you. This is an awful thing to have to deal with.

houmousandcarrotsandwich Tue 12-Apr-11 16:05:09

First, I'm am sorry for your loss fan79.

Are you under pressure for time? If not take your time, do what you feel you can (I know this isn't always an option)

Can you plan any of it away from the home? So if you are giving any furniture to charity, could you arrange for them to come and collect it. Also discuss with family if there are any specific items they want, then you can plan for this.

If some things are difficult to deal with right now, box them up and deal with them later.

If help is available then share the burden of this difficult task.

FruitShootsChocolateThieves Wed 13-Apr-11 20:53:50

If it's any consolation i am in the process of doing the same although I haven't been very good and its taken me a year! I hope to finish in July when I have finished studying for my degree.
My Mum and Dad kept everything, even broken things. It is quite upsetting. My dad is still alive but has dementia and no longer recognises me.
I am doing it in stages, DH has done the garage. I have to be ruthless but don't know what to do with the furniture as it is all from the 1960's and feel someone somewhere might want it.
I agree with Kandinsky in that it is really awful to be throwing things away when dad is still alive. There are huge piles of records and CD's all lovingly catalogued by him.
It's easier to let someone else less involved make decisions about certain things. Dh is much less sentimental, but I can't keep everything, there simply isn't room or even enough time to Ebay everything.
I am sorry you are going through this.

suburbophobe Wed 13-Apr-11 22:28:02

I am going thru this too at the moment, and in the same situation that my mum is still alive and in a home with alzheimers (but still recognises us),
my parents also held onto everything (war generation - you never know when you may need it).

Also really strange to think that the home that I grew up in will eventually no longer be there for us (the children).

lilyliz Sat 30-Apr-11 19:37:21

my sisters and I were not feeling good having to do this on the death of our father but it turned out to be quite enjoyable as we found old family photos and other stuff with good memories.The hardest part was locking the door for the last time knowing that really was the end.

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