Memorial for DS

(6 Posts)
Teleaddict Wed 06-Apr-11 19:24:10

Our DS was born extremely prematurely at 24 weeks in January and died after spending 3 weeks in a neo natal special care unit. We had a very simple funeral for him with just us and our parents and are starting to feel strong enough to decide what to do with his ashes and how to remember him.
We are going to scatter his ashes in the children's memorial garden at the crematorium where his brother's ashes are scattered (we lost him at 20 weeks pregnancy in 2008) but we don't know what to do about a memorial plaque. I don't think I want one at the crematorium as they are in groups of 4 and it upsets me to think of dead flowers etc from other plaques spilling onto his and it looking messy/ un cared for.
I just wondered what other ways people who had lost children had chosen to remember them? I worry that we should have a plaque as other wise there will be no record of Freddie and I want my DD to have somewhere to go to remember him. Although there will always be the spot where his ashes are which is where my DH and I go on anniversaries for our first little boy.
Thank you x

OP’s posts: |
KeepCalmAndCurryOn Wed 06-Apr-11 19:33:14

I have no right to comment, really, not having lost a child - but I have always thought that if dh or any of mine went I would keep the ashes firmly on the mantelpiece, where I could see thwm, and they me.

Pancakeflipper Wed 06-Apr-11 19:33:55

You could 'dedicate' a tree and have a plaque with details about your baby.

The Woodland Trust have over 20 areas that do this. Might be one near you. Usually on nice walks with other dedicated trees. You pay from about £20.00 upwards I think.

I live near an area and when we walk along this woodland walk I always re-read the ones that touch me. There's one for a child and although I never knew him or know his family we always say hello to him and make sure his plaque is clear of leaves etc.

Pancakeflipper Wed 06-Apr-11 19:35:03

I meant to say don't rush, take your time. I always think these things come clear eventually.

Teleaddict Thu 07-Apr-11 07:39:49

Thanks pancake, I didn't know about the woodland trust and will have a look to see if they have any woods near us that do that. I like the idea that we can go for a walk somewhere pretty to remember him and it is lovely that you say hello to the little boy on your walk. That would mean so much to his family if they knew.
Thanks too keep calm, we had talked about this and it doesn't feel right to have them at home. We want them to be scattered with his brothers.

OP’s posts: |
KBlatherskite Thu 07-Apr-11 08:02:06

Friends of mine have a tree for their little boy. Every year on his birthday they take a cake and have a picnic by the tree. I think they also tie ribbons and balloons in the branches for a few days.

So sorry you are going through this. I hope you find something wonderful to remember your boys

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