can I talk to someone please??

[LRKIDS]

I had a miscarriage in april at 16.5 wks and for the first week or so used MN as therapy. Since I have bottled all my feelings up, until the day that I would have been due, I grieved all over again for the whole of that day and a couple of days later I felt like I would be able to move on. I felt loads better for the last month but went out with my babys father last nite and once the alcohol hit me that was it. I now feel that I will never get over it, I know that we have good and bad days and that only time will help to sort me out. It doesn't help that I have had a very stressful year and I still have deep feelings for this bloke. I just want to be pregnant again but by myself it ain't gonna happen. The babys father and I have never talked about our baby even though I have tried. I cannot talk to most of my rl friends as most of them are very close to both me and babys dad. I just need to talk and see if I can get myself out of this. Any ideas for any counselling lines where I can talk to someone without seeing my gp?
Thanks and I'm sorry this is so long and jumbled up

[bubble99]

Not jumbled up at all! It made perfect sense to me.

Can I ask? Is there any particular reason why you don't want your GP to know about counselling?

[LRKIDS]

Not really just that i'm not usually a gp sort of person, I only go if i really really need to. I also don't want to go on ad's and I worry that he will put me on them

[mancmum]

I so sorry to hear of your loss... I have had a miscarriage and the pain never really goes... I still feel sad on due date after 3 years...

I would say that even though you don't like GP, this is a time in your life when you need a bit of support and your GP can provide this ... AD's are not the only solution and even if they are, it is only for a short term... my friend lost her baby shortly after his birth and struggled on her own to deal with her feelings for 3 yeras before it all go out of hand and she went to see her GP a short course of ADs and an excellent bereavement counsellor arranged by GP have helped her hugely she wishes she had done it a lot sooner... try just going for a chat...

Hope you get some peace...

[mrsdarcy]

I'm so sorry about your loss. I know what you mean about the due date causing you such pain.

Does your hospital offer any kind of counselling? I had counselling recently at my local maternity hospital and it helped me tremendously. Even if they don't offer counselling they may be able to put you in touch with an organisation that could help.

Have you tried the miscarriage association? . They might be able to help.

[Lillypond]

LRKIDS - I'm so sorry that you're hurting like this. When I had my miscarriage at 13 weeks I was torn apart but now, nearly 3 years on, it doesn't hurt anymore. I often wonder what he/she would have looked like and what we'd be doing now if they were here, but it's not a painful thought anymore.

It must be incredibly hard for you to lose your baby and then seperate from your partner. Thats such a lot to deal with. I think it's very important to talk about your feelings and probably essential before you can move on. I understand that you don't want AD's, although I found them to be very helpful when I had PND, they're not a substitute for letting your feelings out to someone else, which is what you want to do.

Try the miscarriage association that mrsdarcy has linked to, or try to see your GP. You don't have to take AD's and I know at least all the surgeries I have been with have given access to one to one counselling without having to take AD's. If it helps maybe you could post your feelings on here. There are loads of MNers who have experienced miscarriage who know just what you're going through.

You will move on, it just takes time. Sometimes longer than others but you will get there.

Thinking of you