It is nearly 3 years since my best friend died

(4 Posts)
Thinkofanumber Sat 19-Feb-11 23:46:43

On Tuesday it will be 3 years since my best friend died.

It was totally unexpected, it was an asthma attack during the night.

I was 33 weeks pregnant with DS and she would have been at the birth with me and (now) DH.

I still miss her everyday, there honestly hasn't been a day when I haven't thought about her.

I'm still waiting for things to really get easier. Our other best friend went to Australia the previous year as she'd met a great guy who is now her husband.

I guess I'm feeling 'lost' without a best friend sad.

Her gorgeous daughter was my bridesmaid last June (after nagging me after going out with DH for one week 6 years ago!).

OP’s posts: |
earwicga Sun 20-Feb-11 00:29:45

I'm sorry. I guess it never gets any easier, but in time you get more able to cope with it.

It seems really bad to others, but I don't keep a track on actual dates. It doesn't help others who do, but it helps me.

roomonthebroom Wed 23-Feb-11 19:27:05

I'm so sorry for the loss of your best friend.

I lost mine to, in a car accident, when I was 39 weeks pregnant with DD. I don't know if this is the case for you, but because the birth was so close, I didn't feel I had the time or the space to grieve, and I kind of blocked it from my mind. That makes me sound like a terrible person, but it was the only way I could function. After DD was born, I wanted to talk about my BF but people 'closed down' the conversations and didn't want me to talk about it as I 'should be happy with new DD' and also I think it made them feel really uncomfortable. Could it be that you didn't go through the stages of grief either and you maybe need to focus on actually grieving. I could be way off the mark here, but it's just a thought.

It's been six years for me, and although it has got easier, I found myself crying in the middle of a shopping centre last week as there was a song playing that reminded me of her. I do tell myself it's ok to be sad, but it doesn't dominate my thoughts in the way it did a couple of years ago, and I can also think of her and laugh / smile instead of cry.

Do you have people in RL who you can talk to?

iknowanoldlady Wed 23-Feb-11 21:26:55

I wanted to say I am so sorry too. I lost my best friend over five years ago. She died suddenly in her sleep.

I used to miss her every day, and now it scares me that there are days that go by, and I realise I didn't think of her. But often the silliest thing reminds me.

Nothing takes away the pain but it does soften somehow. A wise friend who had lost a partner told me that she had reached a stage where the feeling of being thankful for having had the person in their life was what they felt more than the sadness. Although the sadness goes, I do manage now to see more what she meant, and be grateful for the time we had and how she shaped my life.

I hope you have people to talk to about your friends and your feelings. And don't feel bad about crying for what seems the daftest reason. I cry in my car sometimes. Other drives must think I am a headcase smile

Treasure her memory and tell your son all about her.

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