Bloody insensitvity and through MN as well

(67 Posts)
DadInsteadofMum Wed 16-Feb-11 15:25:46

Not I hasten to add by a MNer or MN towers.

Some of you may know me and my circumstances as I post here occasionally. I received this PM through MN today by somebody who must have seen a post in a different section but didn't check out where else I posted:

From: Lisa1Landmark
To: DadInsteadofMum
Subject: Documentary we're making...
Date: Wed 16-Feb-11 11:17:40
Hi There,

I hope you don't mind me messaging you on here.

I am an associate producer working with independent production company Landmark Films. We are researching a documentary for BBC1 about mums who live apart from their children. We're interested in what this means for the children and their subsequent relationships with the dads, grandparents or other family members who become their full time parent or guardian.

It is so easy to have an emotional knee-jerk reaction to mums who live apart from their children but without a doubt things are always much more complex and we're interested in what this means for everyone in the family.

We'd like to make a documentary that looks at the challenges of family life after a break up, but one that also looks at how individuals and families overcome those challenges together.

Do you support families who are going through this? Is there someone in your organisation that I could talk to about this to give me some pointers as to why this happens and, if possible, to put me in touch with people affected by this issue. I am interested in speaking with grandparents and their grandchildren whose mothers have left the home for whatever reason. Any conversations would of course be completely confidential and without commitment to take part in any filming. You can message me on here or call ********.

I look forward to the possibility of hearing back from you.

With many thanks and best wishes,


Already report to MN Towers, but needed to vent thanks for listening.

OP’s posts: |
PurveyorOfWoo Wed 16-Feb-11 15:27:16


Cristiane Wed 16-Feb-11 15:28:17

I'm so sorry. Report to mn? At least maybe doing something about it might help you feel slightly better?

I am so sorry about your dw.

ednurse Wed 16-Feb-11 15:28:22

shock and sad

sh77 Wed 16-Feb-11 15:30:40

Gosh. Bad enough of them trawling through people's lives but have got it is so wrong is v insensitive. So sorry for your loss and for this.

ajandjjmum Wed 16-Feb-11 15:30:50

That's horrible for you! sad

GelflinGirl Wed 16-Feb-11 15:34:48

So sorry for you DadinsteadofMum sad I hope they get dealt with!!

FannyFifer Wed 16-Feb-11 15:35:16

That's awful, I am so sorry for your loss.

CaptainNancy Wed 16-Feb-11 15:41:41

Bloody hell! That's horribly insensitive.

I am very sorry for your loss DIOM. I hope MNHQ take steps.

GandalfyCarawak Wed 16-Feb-11 15:44:50

Jesus! That is horrible. What a total cow.


I hope mn contacts Landmark Films to give them a proper telling off.

PomPotty Wed 16-Feb-11 15:48:25


MavisEnderby Wed 16-Feb-11 15:50:43


sometimes these bastarding things just slap you in the face don't they?

Recent phone call

"Hello,I'm Stacey from [insert organisation] could I speak to Mr Mavis please

Me "can I ask why you are calling?"

Stacy (huffily} "I need to speak to Mr Mavis about that"

Me,equally huffily "You'll have some trouble,then,love,cos he died 8 months ago"....

MmeLindt Wed 16-Feb-11 15:50:47

Bloody hell, that is awful.

So sorry that you have been upset by this stupid woman.

Nothing against media asking for info on MN but they really MUST go through the proper channels. Contacting posters directly is absolutely taboo.

AlistairSim Wed 16-Feb-11 15:51:02

That's blooming awful.

Seems to be happening more and more frequently at the moment.

GastonTheLadybird Wed 16-Feb-11 15:54:00

That's horrible, so sorry DIOM, incredibly insensitive of them.

Really not nice to think that producers are trawling boards and PMing people but if they're going to do it they should at least do it intelligently to avoid monumental fuck ups like this.

Maryz Wed 16-Feb-11 15:55:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lottiejenkins Wed 16-Feb-11 15:55:58

I am so sorry this has happened to you. My local education authority sent me letters addressed to my late dh and I for several years after he died. (DH died in 2001 letters stopped in 2008!!!)It was only when i told the EA that if i got any more that i would be contacting the local newspaper that they stopped!!!

Maryz Wed 16-Feb-11 15:57:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows Wed 16-Feb-11 15:57:18

That's deeply shit. I hope that MNHQ kick some arse.

Hassled Wed 16-Feb-11 16:01:43

Twats. Landmark Films should be ashamed of themselves.

MarioandLuigi Wed 16-Feb-11 16:01:54

How horrid - I hope MN Towers take action!

catinthehat2 Wed 16-Feb-11 16:02:25

Glad you outed them, no excuses for that.

Hassled Wed 16-Feb-11 16:03:58

They've done some quite sensitive stuff as well, which just makes this shitter.

LoveBeingADaddysGirl Wed 16-Feb-11 16:07:56

It's disgusting, I picked the phone up at my mums one day and it was the occupation therapist looking to arrange sn appointment. My nan has passed away a couple of months before this.

The problem is people only learn by having to face what they've done. I might have called back and told her exactly what shed done so wrong. You have handled this the best way.

DadInsteadofMum Wed 16-Feb-11 16:08:09

Response from MN Towers:

"We've contacted this person about their mis-use of the PM facility."

Not quite sure what that means.

OP’s posts: |

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