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Funeral Ideas for my Little one pls??

(7 Posts)
sleeppeacefullybabyboy Thu 06-Jan-11 22:28:49

I have another thread going on here about music for my stillborn ds's funeral. Everyone has been really helpful with some lovely suggestions, so am back again, just looking for ideas for what sorts of things to have at the funeral. I havent been to many before...so dont really know where to start or what happens....i dont really know what sort of suggestions im hoping for....but if anyone has any nice ideas they could share i would be really greatful. This is the only chance i'l have to arrange something for my lo so anything to give me some ideas....i just dont want to think of something a few months down the line and think 'oh that would of been nice' ...sorry if this post doesn't make sence...

TheSleepFairy Thu 06-Jan-11 22:35:10

Your post makes perfect sense *spbb^
What do you think about a thoughts book, it can be left at the crem/church or at the wake & people can write things to you, your family & son. It's something to keep & look back on when you need it.

If you are having flowers you might want to press some to keep alongside the message cards from the flowers?

I'm so sorry for you, do you have support & help with arranging the funeral?

KarenHL Thu 06-Jan-11 22:46:03

You are making sense.

Our darling son was born and died on Christmas Eve, so I have some idea of what you are going through. He is going to be cremated on Wednesday and we plan to have a Jared Anderson song called "we will be changed" played then. You don't say if you want something religious or not - I should warn JA is a Christian singer) - might be best to find a copy of the song or the lyrics to see if you like it first. We believe baby has a new body, no suffering & surrounded by love where he is - the song sort of reflects that.

I hope all goes well at your son's funeral - I just wish neither of us were suffering like this and that our babies could be here.

InnocentRedhead Fri 07-Jan-11 01:04:05

When my son died, 6 days old, i just had a small simple funeral, in a small chapel, i was surrounded by those that i knew loved me. We had a hearse and it simply had Zac in white flowers at the back. I carried my son in to the chapel and said my words to him. There was a religious service as at the time i had faith, a few fitting words from me and my mum and then he was buried. The thought book is a good idea. It helps me still and also on the day lighting a candle for him and also releasing one balloon too, keep his spirit free.

It was also comforting knowing he could be buried with things, i buried him with his first teddy, and a blanket to stop him getting cold. I have a memory box too, full of things like a lock of hair, photos and his hand prints.

It was two years ago for me now (i can say this now and you may not believe me, i never believed anyopne who told you this, and i am not patronising you or trying to monopolise your grief - it does hurt) but it does get easier, but there are those times when it hurts as fresh as back then. Stay strong.

Reading all this has brought me to tears, but hoping to help those in need.

Sending love, my thoughts and my prayers

dejavuaswell Fri 07-Jan-11 10:03:50

What a lovely post InnocentRedhead!

InnocentRedhead Fri 07-Jan-11 21:06:18

Please do let me know how it goes xx

FoxyRevenger Fri 07-Jan-11 21:50:07

Oh, Sleep, I am so so sorry you are having to do this.

There is another thread here with CheeseandGherkin's story, which has readings posted on it. This one is particularly beautiful, I thought, and has a hopeful, comforting tone to it.

Hope this helps you.

What is dying?

A ship sails and I stand watching til she fades on the horizon,
and someone at my side says, "She is gone".
Gone Where?
Gone from my sight, that is all:
she is just as large as when I saw her....
The diminished size and total loss of sight is in me,
not in her,
and just at the moment when someone at my side says "she is gone", there are others who are watching her coming,
and other voices take up a glad shout,
"there she comes!"...
and that is dying.

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