This is a Premium feature
To use this feature subscribe to Mumsnet Premium - get first access to new features see fewer ads, and support Mumsnet.Start using Mumsnet Premium
Scared of losing mum(5 Posts)
My mum has a heart condition and she has been told that they cannot do anything and ultimately she will die. I am really distressed about this. She has been putting on a brave face for rest of family but has cried her eyes out whenever I visit. I am trying to stay strong for her but its really hard.
I am now starting to panic as I have 2 dc aged 6 and 4. The 6 year old is very close to my mum. I really don't konw how i will deal with it when the time comes.
Any advice appreciated.
I'm so sorry to hear about your mum.
That is incredibly sad.
It must be very distressing to know that she has an untreatable condition.
However, you have the advantage of knowing in advance that her time is limited and you are blessed with the chance to use that time.
You can use the time she has left positively to enjoy being with her, talk, take photos, go on trips together, learn from her etc etc.
Your children too can spend time with her. Take lots of photos of them together so that your children can remember and talk about her in the future.
So many people lose important family members with no warning and live with regrets of words not said and deeds not done.
With regards to your panicking about when she's gone, that's understandable, but unnecessary.
It is natural to think of all you reply on her for and how much you enjoy your time together. However, it is the natural order of things that we lose our parents and die before our children. You can and will continue once she is gone.
It may be hard and you will certainly miss her, but you will manage. It will probably not be as hard as you think in practical terms. The anticipation of such changes is usually worse than the reality, though of course you will miss her on a personal level.
Be sure to make the most of the time you have left.
Yes, yes, make as many memories as you can. I wish you a very special Christmas.
I lost my mum nearly 3 years ago.
I was extremely close to her, as was my DS (who had been with her every day since he was born - she looked after him when I worked etc)
She declined in health over about 18 months and when she died I was devastated and didn't think life would go on.
Life is slightly more poignant now she is gone, though I do talk to her photo.
Things are just different now.
I would advise you you to make videos, take photos, even record her voice for your kids - maybe reading a story for them?
Love and best wishes to you xxx
Oh, yes, videos! I have given up taking photos of DS, and take little videos instead, since I can always take stills from the films, and I get to keep stages of his life which are "lost" when he grows out of them. It's lovely.