Friend's son suicide/bullies

[LovestheChaos]

Two old friends of mine just lost their 14 year old child to suicide. They found him dead. He was being relentless bullied so he overdosed on something. Really devastated and don't know what to say. He was an only child. Lovely, friendly and kind kid. My own son is 10 and is being bullied at school and this child had spent time talking to my ds and trying to help him. He was pretty much DS's only friend. What am I going to tell ds?

[emsiedoodle]

I am so so sorry, that is so awful. I have no advice I'm afraid but just wanted to pass on my sympathies at this awful time.

[CarGirl]

how devastating

[LovestheChaos]

I wish I could do something to help the mother, she is tearing her hair out. I guess the only thing I can do is offer support........

[WhatsWrongWithYou]

Good grief I don't know what to say - the most hideous and unthinkable thing to happen.

I can't advise as to what to tell your DS - you must be feeling dreadful - but please consider starting a thread about his problems; lots of people could make helpful suggestions to help you both pull out of this.

[LovestheChaos]

DS keeps asking how his friend died. There's no way I can tell him that it was a suicide.

[plupervert]

Sorry I have come to this so late. Have you worked something out by now, about telling your DS?

I think you need some professional help about this. Someone who has experience with the results of telling children about death (let alone telling bullied children about suicide).

Poor child. I can understand how terrified you must be that he will "get ideas" - in addition to dreadfully missing this other boy. For what it's worth, I don't think lying to a child at your DS's age, about something like this, will make him distrust you in future, unlike lying about other things (e.g. divorce).

I hope your DS is happier now the school holidays are starting, and he has some time off with you, and away from his bullies.

[oneortwo]

have you contacted any suicide charities? its a very differnt kind of grief/loss and they can help, especially with children's experience of loss with this sort of situation. Don't expect to be able to deal with this yourself without professional help / advice.