New to this ....

(24 Posts)
1976kate Sat 28-Aug-10 22:21:39


I am new to this website and wanted to say Hi.

I have been struggling to come to terms with the loss of my stillborn son 14 weeks ago tomorrow and was wondering if there was anyone else out there in a similar position? sad


OP’s posts: |
hackingandhewing Sat 28-Aug-10 22:26:29

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you must be going through.

Didn't want you to go unanswered but I know you will get lots of support and advice on here.

Hugs x

thefirstmrsDeVere Sat 28-Aug-10 22:27:24

Hello kate.

I am so very sorry about your little boy.
I have not experienced a stillbirth but I lost my 14 year old daughter 4 years ago.

There is a wonderful thread here for bereaved parents. I am sorry that I cannot do links but I will try and find it for you. It is not always completly obvious from its title.

You will be made very welcome there.

I would like to hear about your little boy if you feel able to talk about him.

ttalloo Sat 28-Aug-10 22:33:54

hi, kate, I'm not in a similar position to you but I just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss. I had two early MCs and nearly went mad with grief so I can only imagine how dreadful you must be feeling after a stillbirth.

You will find lots of people on MN who know exactly what you are going through, and will be able to help you. Wishing you well (and thefirstmrsdevere, too).

SacharissaCripslock Sat 28-Aug-10 22:38:33

So very very sorry for the loss of your son. What's his name?

My DS2 was stillborn at 36 weeks. I found the SANDS forum a life saver in the first year or so. Have you had a look? I only posted a few times as just reading was all I needed.

2shoes Sat 28-Aug-10 22:40:25

so sorry for your loss

thefirstmrsDeVere Sat 28-Aug-10 22:43:31

kate I dont know how to link but the thread begins

"In memory of my beloved Fraser...."

laundrylover Sat 28-Aug-10 22:44:43

try this link

Not sure it works.

So sorry to read about your sonsad.

1976kate Sat 28-Aug-10 22:53:39

My son's name was Harry William and we lost him 14 weeks ago yesterday (friday) I was 40 weeks + 5 days; there was no heartbeat found, the previous day I had had my final antenatal appointment with my midwife and the heartbeat was found strong and regular.

I delivered Harry on the Sunday afternoon, my birth experience was wonderful ( I know that might seem a strange thing to say), but if I never experience childbirth again I can say I have done it once!! smile

I have tried SANDS and have posted once, but read alot, which has helped alot. I am struggling to find 1-2-1 counselling though.

We have been told that we lost Harry due to placental abruption which we believe happened only hours before he passed.

I am trying to keep positive, but am having difficult days....still blush.

Thanks for your messages xxx

OP’s posts: |
SacharissaCripslock Sat 28-Aug-10 22:58:10

It has been no time since you lost your DS (fantastic name you chose, btw!) so don't even think about using blush about having difficult days!

thefirstmrsDeVere Sat 28-Aug-10 23:00:40

It has been no time at all since you lost your Harry. There is no need to feel blush at all.

I am so pleased you feel you had a wonderful birth. I dont think you sound strange.


NonnoMum Sat 28-Aug-10 23:03:16

Very sorry for the loss of your beautiful Harry.

spiderlight Sat 28-Aug-10 23:06:35

Just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss.

lollymad Sat 28-Aug-10 23:06:36

So sorry for your loss. Have no experience to offer you advice, but just wanted to offer very unMN type hugs. Be gentle on yourselves and do whatever you need to. xx

Lynli Sat 28-Aug-10 23:10:33

So very sorry for the loss of you son. If is very early days for you.

You sound like you are doing really well, I hope his dad is coping too.

I am sure you will find some comfort from the lovely ladies here.

ac73 Sat 28-Aug-10 23:24:50

So sorry. Our son died in 2005 aged 18 weeks. We threw ourselves into fundraising in the early days - wanted something positive to come from someone so beautiful. Not sure what else to say apart from I do understand and somehow you will find a way forward. Be kind to yourself.

skyeplusbump Sat 28-Aug-10 23:44:39

i am so so sorry for your loss,i am nearly 39 weeks,and was taking it all for granted.
i'll stop now.
im so so sorry.
i hope someone can help you.

lavandes Sun 29-Aug-10 00:03:24

kate so sorry for your loss, if you go to the thread - In memory of my beloved Fraser and all our children.Little buds sown on earth to bloom in heaven - you will find such a lot of support from other mums in the place you are now. xx

onimolap Sun 29-Aug-10 00:07:50

You said you were interested in 1-2-1 contact: SANDS can help - ring their helpline: 0207 436
5881 (manned Mon/Wed/Fr office hours and Tues/Thurs evenings from 6pm). They can put you in touch with SANDS groups, other counselling services or another bereaved parent as someone you can just talk to.

Our darling first born son died when he was a few hours old, nearly 12 years ago. SANDS found a lovely couple for me to talk to whose son had died in similar circumstances. I can't remember what I talked about; I just remember how lovely they were.

Please don't take this wrongly: I also want to say congratulations: because two momentous things have happened to you, and one of those was becoming Harry's mother. His brief life with you is precious like that of all children, and O hope you can be proud if him.

And it's devastating that the other momentous thing was his death. I am so sorry. Time, a lot of time, may make it less raw; but he will always be in your heart.

DreamTeamGirl Sun 29-Aug-10 00:09:11

Kate, I am so sorry for your loss, and so glad that delivering Harry was an good experience for you

Have you looked at the Babyloss forums?

A friend used them after she delivered a stillborn little girl at full term and found them a great comfort

SassySusan Sun 29-Aug-10 07:30:40

Message deleted

Flighttattendant Sun 29-Aug-10 07:38:27

Kate, I am so very sorry. Welcome btw x

lavandes Sun 29-Aug-10 13:01:27

awarding sassy gold star for links!

Minione Sun 29-Aug-10 22:25:32

Hi Kate, I'm so sorry for your loss. My son Malachy was born asleep on the 12th June. There had been a few problems during the pregnancy but things were starting to look more reassuring. However, he died at 30 weeks tbh I still can't believe it's happened. The thread mentioned has been a lifeline and you can read my whole story there. It's an awful thing to have in common with others but I've found it helps to share with others mothers who have gone through the same thing. I hope you can find some comfort on the thread x

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in