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How do you cope following a termination for abnormalities?

(78 Posts)
majormoo Tue 23-Aug-05 13:29:42

Last week I went for my 12 week scan, and we were told the baby, which we later learned was a girl, had severe abnormalities (trisomy 13) and was incompatible with life. I had a termination on friday.

Life has obviously been horrendous since then.The first couple of days were shocking, terrifying and we just kept collapsing into tears. The weekend was very sad and exhausting. The last couple of days have been a bit easier, but it so hard to accept what has happened. I wondered if anyone had any advice on how to accept something like this? Our friends are disappeared off the face of the earth, other than my oldest friend, no one has called me since we told them. We do have great family support though and a lovely 2 year old daughter.

We have been told it is just very bad luck and is very unlikely to recur, but I will be terrified if I ever decide to try again. Physically the hospital said, just wait for 1 period and then, if we want, we can try again. God knows if this will be too soon.

A counsellor from Kings College Hospital will call us in a couple of weeks, as in Brighton, where we live, there is a 2 month waiting list for counselling.

BobbyGentry Fri 13-Dec-13 03:45:46

(((Sorry for the loss of your daughter)))

I would suggest not to cope, just grieve.

Cry, if you need to. Rage if you must.

Grief is a powerful emotion and it can't be controlled (held in.) only time heals but you won't be able to appreciate that salve presently.

The charity ARC can and will offer support. I would suggest you contact them:

Always loved, never forgotten (motto from the fabulous charity SANDs.)

Hold tight and take care over the coming months

BobbyGentry Fri 13-Dec-13 03:50:19

* Sorry, just noticed it's a year on, hope time has been kind to you x

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Fri 13-Dec-13 06:29:20

The OP is from 2005!

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