Would this be insensitive? Advice on helping friend who has lost her dad

(9 Posts)
Sufi Thu 15-Jul-10 09:41:56

A close friend has just lost her dad. He died within days of her moving to London, she doesn't yet have a new job (she moved as her DP got a job there) and she's away from her network of friends. I'm going to see her in a few weeks but in the meantime wanted to send her a little parcel of 'nice things' - not to cheer her up, but just to let her know I'm thinking of her. The parcel would be chocolate, bath things, magazines - just small things that are non-essential but nice to have.

I've sent her a card already and we talk on the phone, but if she was still living in my home town I would have dropped round with food and offers of cleaning and trips out. But she's not here, I can't get to London and I hate to think of her alone in her grief. I wanted to send her a physical reminder that she's in my thoughts, but didn't want to send flowers.

DH says such a parcel would be insensitive. Is he right?

OP’s posts: |
5inthebed Thu 15-Jul-10 09:43:06

I think it is a lovely idea.

wonderstuff Thu 15-Jul-10 09:44:17

I think it would be lovely. Why does dh think insensitive? Is lovely when friends do things to show they are thinking of you.

Rindercella Thu 15-Jul-10 18:50:35

Really don't understand why anyone could think such a thoughtful gift insensitive. I have just lost my father and would welcome such a kind thought.

Sufi Thu 15-Jul-10 20:09:58

Rindercella - really sorry to hear about your dad.

Thanks everyone for this. I think DH can just be a bit.. over-sensitive at times (if you see what I mean) but then he gets me worrying.. so I'll go out and sort it and post it tomorrow.

OP’s posts: |
maxpower Thu 15-Jul-10 20:11:16

Completely appropriate. My DSis did this for a good friend of her's who's mum died. It was wonderfully received.

TequilaMockinBird Thu 15-Jul-10 20:11:40

I think that's a lovely idea!

I lost my dad 7 years ago and would have loved to have received such a parcel.

You are such a lovely friend smile

UnholyMoley Thu 15-Jul-10 20:13:04

Make sure you tell her that it's not intended to make her feel better but that you're thinking about her, like you said in your OP.

Your dh is probably thinking along the lines of not mentioning it at all because reminding her will upset her. Be assured that she is already thinking about it and won't want it ignored.

I think it's a lovely idea smile

chimchar Fri 16-Jul-10 06:53:31

a lovely friend did this for me when my mum died... she wrote in the card something like "because i wanted you to know that i'm thinking about you"

it was lovely, and her kindness really made me feel nice.

send it. you're a good friend. smile

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