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Doctor's got me worried! (No pointing and selective hearing)

(40 Posts)
Novacane Tue 16-Aug-05 13:34:26

Hello all, just after some reassurance or support really.
I took my 16 month old DS to the doctors the other day. She has asked me to contact HV for a development thingy as she says 'she doesnt think theres anything to worry about but just to be sure)
The things we are concerned about are that he doesnt yet point to things (although he does point to things in books when asked and he also points to some shark tale stickers in the bath when asked)
When called by his name he sometimes doesnt answer or turn round, but if I say 'Charlie, whats this? he always turns round, even if engrosed in the telly.
Also he is not really talking yet, he says 'gone' ALL the time lol, and hiya and 'O' for no, shaking his head. Hes never said mama or dada, and has never called out for us.
He doesnt seem to get simple instructions like wheres you bottle or wheres your drink, but i dont know if hes meant to by now.
As for the other things, hes a very smiley, sociable little boy, who walked at 10 months.
He loves to read with you, he brings me books to read him all the time and gets rather excited by them. He also does actions in books, like if I say 'hot dog' he will start to pant. So I know hes understanding some of what were saying. He understands no and get down and comehere, but not sure if thats by the tone of voice or understanding of the language used.
He loves to play with blocks etc and can put them big lego block things together when shown.
He does not like to be cuddled when its not on his terms, (like just being picked up and cuddled) but he loves playing kissy games and loves to be cuddled to sleep.

The doctor slipped in the word autism and the thought had never even entered my head.
Im a natural born worrier and ive not slept since she said that (probably due to my ignorance more than anything) and I cried all night.

Am I worrying unessecerily? Any words of advice would be helpful, and tips on how to encourage speech etc, Im a first time Mum and an only child so im new to all this!

compo Tue 16-Aug-05 13:35:59

He sounds completely fine to me. My ds is the same age and he isn't walking or talking yet. I'm nit worried because he responds to other things that you have mentioned like books etc.

QueenOfQuotes Tue 16-Aug-05 13:37:11

"Also he is not really talking yet, he says 'gone' ALL the time lol, and hiya and 'O' for no, shaking his head. Hes never said mama or dada, and has never called out for us. "

Wouldn't worry about that, DS1 didn't talk until he was 2yrs old, and DS2 (who's 20 1/2 months) is only really now starting to say more than a few babbly words.

As for the instruictions thing, DS1 was about 3 before he "got" that (well ok not quite that bad but was too lazy to think about what we were saying) and again DS2 only in the last month or so has really started to understand and 'follow' instructions.

foxinsocks Tue 16-Aug-05 13:40:17

have they done a hearing check (can't remember when they do them) if you are worried about him not hearing stuff?

hercules Tue 16-Aug-05 13:41:01

SOunds fine to me too tbh. DD certainly wasnt saying that much at that age. I did a few threads on it as I was worried but at nearly 2 she is fine.
Pointing sounds okay too, they dont have to point all the time.

QueenOfQuotes Tue 16-Aug-05 13:42:28

oh yes with pointing - some babies are point more than others.

DS2 pointed from about 12 months.......and hasn't stopped since - looks like an elephant most of the time walking round with his arm infront of his face pointing at stuff.

DS1 was never so bothered about it, would point at things that really interested him, but wasn't that fussed about it until he was talking (around 2)

Lizzylou Tue 16-Aug-05 13:43:27

Novacane, my DS is 17mths and doesn't talk much, he does say a few words and like your DS understands when I say things to him, like your DS loves books, he also brings them to me to read to him. My Ds walked at 11mths and has always been far more interested in physical play (climbing everywhere!)I am not concerned about him at all, he is a happy and contented boy who is only now starting to say things with more frequency (this morning he said "Daddy" clear as a bell and last week said "tractor" a few times, but hasn't said it since!!!).
I would try not to worry, he sounds like he is just like my Ds to me!

Novacane Tue 16-Aug-05 13:44:33

Funnily enough, i actually took him to the dr in the first place as he had glue ear and an infection and i wanted to make sure it had cleared up (which it has).

They have mentioned doing another hearing test (he had one at 9mth and passed), but im not sure as he can hear the car coming down the drive and can hear the cat meowing the other side of the flat. But Im definately going to get it checked out to make sure he can hear all frequencies etc.

Lizzylou Tue 16-Aug-05 13:44:47

Also, my DS is same with cuddles, when he wants to he is extremely affectionate, but if I cuddle him and he is playing or busy, he isn't bothered!

Novacane Tue 16-Aug-05 13:49:01

Wow thankyou for all the prompt replys! This is ace I should have done it yonks ago!

Isnt it funny how Drs are able to put the fear of god into you with one word, I know they look to the worse case scenario, but hey, she was saying in the same breath how I looked visibly and highly stressed! (thats another story)
Well didnt she think that would send me over the edge?? (not quite, im still hanging on lol)

QueenOfQuotes Tue 16-Aug-05 13:59:06

oh - and one other thing - just realised it was a DS we're talking about, and in general they tend to be lazier (especially first DS's) than girls.

Pruni Tue 16-Aug-05 14:03:09

Message withdrawn

Novacane Tue 16-Aug-05 14:04:33

LMAO Pruni

pesha Tue 16-Aug-05 14:11:25

Your ds sounds very much like my ds was at that age, i dont remember him pointing to things, i dont no if he didnt understand alot of what we said to him or if he just didnt want to do what he was told but he seemed to have selective hearing and never took any notice of the word no. He also said 'all gone' loads and 'hiya', dont really remember what else or how much more than that, sorry, but i was worried about him. My dd has always been a very good non stop talker and he didnt talk much at all, wouldnt get things if i asked him to or any of that. And he's always been very cuddly and friendly and affectionate but also independant, stubborn and determined. He's now just turned 2 (2 wks ago today) and its only the last month and a half that his talking and understanding has really taken off, he'll go get things, give things to people, put things back. i've been making a list of 'words he can say aged 2' and its now at over 130 words, 2 months ago i dont think it was much more than 30. its like a switch has just been flicked in him and now he's finally got it there's no stopping him!
I really couldnt comment on autism as i know nothing about it, i wouldnt know what the signs are or anything but your ds really does sound exactly like mine was at that age and now he doesnt shut up! I think its good that your dr wants him to go for a check though, that they want to make sure its all ok, my ds never had a development check at that age, when i rang up with my concerns about him they just sent me some leaflets! But from what you've said i wouldnt worry too much, obviously you will worry cos thats what mums do, but not too much.

pesha Tue 16-Aug-05 14:26:18

Sorry started writing that when you'd only just posted it but got interrupted by pesky kids and now you've had so many other replies most of what i said is irrelevant!

Novacane Tue 16-Aug-05 14:33:19

Pesha, its just nice to know my little boy isnt acting strangely, like i was led to believe, your reassurance is most welcome!

Jimjams Tue 16-Aug-05 14:40:09

Pointing is very important- but there a couple of months to go yet. Usually pointing out things of interest should be in place by 18 months. Have you seen the CHAT test ? Please note it is not diagnostic- it is a screening tool to be used at 18 months.

I have a ds3 - now 7 months- who is at high risk for autism. If he isn't pointing at 16 months I will be concerned but not at panic stations- and I won't aks for a referral until 18 months (ie I would give the extra 2 months- pointing tends to come on overnight iyswim).

Your Dr has done very well to notice the lack of pointing (most are oblivious) and to have referred you on.

I wouldn't worry about speech etc yet. The first impotant skills are things like imitation- so lots of copying games. Also understanding- to help that reduce your language right down. So rather than "ds come here and put your coat on we're going out now" say "ds1 coat".

Just noticed he shakes his head for no. Does he do that spontaneously in response to a question? E.g As in "do you want this?" If so that's a VERY good sign. Autistic children tend to struggle a lot with the concept of yes and no.


Please don't panic yet - 16 months is still very little- and you obviously have a very switched on Doctor.

Jimjams Tue 16-Aug-05 14:41:27

BTW when he points does he use his index finger?

macwoozy Tue 16-Aug-05 14:49:08

Hi Novocane, My ds who is now 5 is autistic and I can reassure you that at your ds's age he was so much further behind. My ds still doesn't really point now, and at 16 months he wasn't even interested in looking at a book let alone pointing at the pictures in them, he never brought my any of his books or toys to show me neither, in fact it didn't even matter to him if I was there or not.

My ds also had no vocabulary at that age, and never went through the babbling stage.

You mention that your ds is a smiley sociable little boy, I remember how I used to find it so hard to encourage just a smile from my ds, and he was never interested in other people. He hated being picked up and cuddled but I think more importantly he never once raised his arms up in expectation of being picked up. IYKWIM. Please don't worry, he is still so young.

Jimjams Tue 16-Aug-05 14:53:34

macwooozy- my ds1 did all those things though! (including arms up, book sharing, pointing at pics in books (although with whole hand or my hand, not index finger, smiling - was referred to as most smily baby in the GP's practice). I too think that 16 months is very little and certainly too young to spend sleepless nights over-, but if ponting isn't in place by 18 months then it is best to get checked. It doesn;t necessarily indicate autism- but it's worth making sure there aren't language problems (tbh lack of pointing is more indicative of communication/language problems than autsim per se).

pesha Tue 16-Aug-05 14:56:27

I never knew pointing was an issue, my ds only started that a couple of months ago when out for a walk and dd was pointing at trees and he copied saying tree and pointing but that was when he was about 22 months, dont remember him doing it at all before then and didnt do it much after that until quite recently. Is it only a problem when combined with other things?

Jimjams Tue 16-Aug-05 15:04:11

Well it's a big thing- but remember its only a indicator- not diagnostic! So if a child isn't pointing at 18 months then their play etc should be checked, or they should have a little eye kept on them. In some cases it will mean nothing at all, other than they were late to get going, in others it will mean something. Best thought of as a red flag (whereas not responding to name is more of an orange flag iyswim). The more red and orange flags you have, the more of an eye needs to be kept.

For example I am watching ds3 like a hawk (because of his autism risk). He does scratch the sirface of things a lot- I would put that as an orange flag, he also gags quite a bit on lumps- again an orange flag at 7 months. They don;t mean much in isolation, but if he continues to collect orange and red flags then it could be important.

Gosh I think I've confused myself now! Hope that makes some sense!

Jimjams Tue 16-Aug-05 15:06:00

Also if you son is now poiting a lot and normally at 22 months then I wouldn't worry much at all. For comparison my 6 year old autistic son can point, but does it very rarely and usually only if we tell him to (90% of the time). Often he uses the wrong finger, and often uses my hand still).

Novacane Tue 16-Aug-05 15:08:06

hi jim jams

he shakes his head as in 'no' if we say NO! to him (usually as he is about to put his hand in the fish tank or fall off the coffee table)- He looks at us with a cheeky grin and shakes his head.

He points with his index finger, yes, but doesnt do it to things in @the outside world', just books. Sometimes if I say 'wheres the car?' he looks at me like im stupid which does worry me sometime as I say it all the time as were walking to it. He most definately does reach his arms up to be picked up, and climbs up my leg at times to be picked up.

I asked him if he wanted his bot bot this morning, and im sure he nodded and said YA, but it might have been my imagination- will keep you posted!

Jimjams Tue 16-Aug-05 15:36:20

all that sounds really positive- don't worry too much and your GP does sound very good!

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