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Behaviour/development

ds is so clingy!!

8 replies

juicychops · 10/08/2005 14:36

ds has started being really clingy only wanting me. wont even go to dp without crying and it is getting me and dp really down. dp feels like he hates ds at the moment cos he is finding any time he spends with ds unbearable which i can understand. But im getting so worn out and knackered. i feel so drained from carrying him around the house with me or trying to comfort him. i dont know what else to do to make him stop being like this. i really need a break

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hercules · 10/08/2005 14:39

Your dp needs to take your ds and keep him rather than hand him back when he starts to cry. LEave them too it and your dp can read to him/play with him to distract him. They arent going to have a relationship unless he is persistent.

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hamster · 10/08/2005 15:13

How old is he?
My ds is almost 1, and still cries when I am out of sight. I have found distraction the best thing-ie toys, teddy etc.

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hermykne · 10/08/2005 15:25

my ds has days like this, but its usually becuase one of us or his sis is out of sight,
with dd i took the softhearted approach but i'm afraid ds is left til i can attend to him.

have u a playpen? to distract him or just leave him in it safely while your are busy

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juicychops · 10/08/2005 19:36

my ds is 7 months. Ive got a playpen but haven't used it yet. i sometimes leave him in the front room on the floor with his toys while i do things around the house but once he gets bored he cries and screams for me so i end up doing most things with him next to me like sort the washing out on the floor in his bedroom so that he can see me. Most of the house chores i leave until he has gone to bed cos its so much easier.

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vivie · 10/08/2005 21:27

it gets easier when he can crawl / walk and follow you around. DS1 was a nightmare for clinginess, and at 2.9 yrs he's a lot better, but still clings if we're in an unfamiliar place, it's noisy, there's a crowd etc. I think this is his personality though, and he's naturally quite shy. Hercules' advice is really good, and try to remember that he's not being naughty, he's just frightened that the person he loves and needs more than anything in the world might not come back. It also helps to have a routine, especially at bedtime. Ds1 has always found this really comforting and it's made it easier for dh or my mum to look after him - at least if mummy isn't there, everything else is familiar. It will get easier, honest, but it's an awful phase. Hang in there!

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KiwiKate · 11/08/2005 07:01

My ds (now 2.3yo) went throught this. DH simply took him and played with him. At first DS objected and cried, but then became used to dh (and turned into something of a daddy's boy tbh). At first, it worked best if I was not in the room (either dh would take ds into another room, or I would go into another room). After a while DS loved spending time with daddy even when I was around.

Take care not to get exhausted. If your DH cannot handle ds's unhappiness, then perhaps he can help out more with the house work (and free you up to spend time with ds withouth having to worry about housework so much?)

Remember, your child is not being naughty - he instinctively wants to be with the person he feels safest with.

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tortoise · 15/08/2005 17:44

my dd is very clingy.shes 1yo.cant leave the room without her running after me crying! have to carry her round while doing housework. distraction doesnt work.shes driving me mad!!