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Okay, am prepared for abuse and suggestions of being a terrible mother, but is it SO bad that 5 year old has dummy?

(162 Posts)
missmoopy Tue 20-Apr-10 21:32:24

My dd (5) STILL has her dummy and shows no signs of wanting to give it up.

She is bright and happy and I am really not that bothered about her having it. She only has it at bedtime as she feels it helps her relax.

Occasionally I have visions of her at 18 packing her dummy to go to Uni, but generally I am fine with it.

What do you think? And, if you think it is awful,how do I encourage her to give it up??

Sidge Tue 20-Apr-10 21:40:34

My DD still has her dummy at bedtime - she is 3.5.

We saw the dentist last week and he could tell straight away that she has a dummy; he said it needs to be gone by the age of 5 because it will impact on the growth and placement of her adult teeth.

I am planning to ditch it asap; I think I'll just throw it away and go cold turkey. I'm dreading it but it must be done!

TheCrackFox Tue 20-Apr-10 21:42:29

I would imagine that in a couple of years she will grow out of it.

So long as she doesn't have her dummy in all day (it would affect her speech) I don't see the harm in it.

I never used dummies as there was no need for my boys and they didn't suck their thumbs either. Pure luck.

activate Tue 20-Apr-10 21:43:39

Yes - bribe her

cktwo Tue 20-Apr-10 21:45:41

It may not be SO bad but it's not good really. A dummy is a comforter for babies who suck for comfort. By 5, a child should have otherways of finding confort.

HesterPrynne Tue 20-Apr-10 21:46:55

As it's only at night, I can't see that much wrong with it. Kids much older than that suck their thumbs, including my DDs and there's nothing you can do about that at all.

In fact, I can still revert to sucking my tongue at times of extreme stress.

PussinJimmyChoos Tue 20-Apr-10 21:47:24

I had a dummy until late and so did my sister - both have lovely adult teeth

DH didn't have a dummy and he has crooked bottom teeth...

DS is nearly 4 and has a dummy for bed time and when he is very tired...but for the majority of the time he is dummy free and spits it out at night most of the time, just uses it to settle back to sleep when he needs it...

DH wants me to ditch it...I cannot see the harm tbh!

oliviacrumble Tue 20-Apr-10 21:48:35

Mine had it at that age also, until a visit to the (disbelieving) dentist put us straight.

Like you, I also felt "where's the harm?", until dentist explained the dummy was preventing her permanent teeth from descending correctly, and that if continued, her top and bottom teeth would meet in a sort of 'o' shape. blush blush

We just went cold turkey, and it was hard.

I think I used a lot of 'visuals', you know, pictures of sharks with awful jagged teeth, monsters with grotesque grins etc, in order to explain in a light-hearted way why she had to give up her dummy.

The good thing with a 5yo, is that you can reason with them quite a bit.

I do think she probably needs to give it up at this stage.

Best of luck!

compo Tue 20-Apr-10 21:50:22

It's no worse than sucking a thumb and I did that til way past 5

but if you think about sleepovers, brownie camp etc it's not a good position to be in

Sazisi Tue 20-Apr-10 21:50:28

Not good for her teeth.
You could try leaving it out for the dummy fairy (who needs it for tiny babies wink), and replace it with a small toy or £1 or something?

PussinJimmyChoos Tue 20-Apr-10 21:50:38

My motto is that you can get rid of a dummy but not a thumb so easier to break a dummy habit imho

<disclaimer..Puss does not advocate getting rid of thumbs in any circumstances...well, unless they nick my chocolate stash>


Ewe Tue 20-Apr-10 21:50:44

I saw a child at the shops today who was in school uniform and had a dummy in... so not as bad as him but still not great!

Get the dummy fairy in!

SixtyFootDoll Tue 20-Apr-10 21:50:58

IT is terrible at 5 sorry
Mine both loved their dummies to get to sleep, but 3 was old enough to get rid.

OrmRenewed Tue 20-Apr-10 21:51:22

Erm..... <whispers> yes.

I am the queen of what-the-heck but not keen on dummies at all, but particularly at 5. But maybe it's no worse than thumb-sucking? Don't know. Not keen.

Sidge Tue 20-Apr-10 21:52:07

I think it is 'worse' than sucking a thumb in that a child will often fall asleep with the dummy in whilst thumbs usually slip out once asleep.

missmoopy Tue 20-Apr-10 21:52:11

We did try the dummy fairy but she had nightmares and wouldn't go to sleep! The dummy fairy became more feared than monsters, to the point I had to promise not to let the dummy fairy visit!

GetOrfMoiLand Tue 20-Apr-10 21:56:58

Oh I don't think a dummy at 5 is a good idea.

DD stopped her dummy when she was about 14 months (she kept hurling them out of her pram, I had had enough). One night of cold turkey skrieking and she was fine.

However, about 3 months later she started sucking her thumb. And she is completely wedded to it. She is 14 now and still sucks her thumb when tired, of course I tell her not to but it is so instinctive, and I think she will probably always feel the urge. If she hasn't grown out of it at 14, when will she?

Her teeth are perfectly fine by the way, no circular shape, no overbite. Are dummies different than thumbs, orthodontically?

So, as much as I don't like dummies on older children, to be honest I would prefer a 5 year old with a dummy to a teen who sucks a thumb.

TrillianAstra Tue 20-Apr-10 21:57:06

Sounds awful to me, sorry.

missmoopy Tue 20-Apr-10 21:59:56

I value all opinions, but am intrigued as to why those who dislike the ides do so? Is it not just same as thunb, comfort blanket, cuddly toy that children have to all ages?

Is it more about value judgements about people who use dummys?

missmoopy Tue 20-Apr-10 22:02:10

Sorry for appalling spelling! Tired.

beesonmummyshead Tue 20-Apr-10 22:04:20

Doesn't sound bad to me. DD is 2.7 and loves her dummy. She has it for bedtime and rest-time, although once she drops her daytime nap, it will be for bedtime only.

My mum took my dummy away just before I turned 5 and I intantly replaced it with my thumb. I sucked my thumb WAAAAY more than I ever sucked my dummy. Watching tv, in class whilst listening to teacher, reading books etc.

DD's dummy falls out when she is asleep, she often replaces it when she wakes, but I imagine one would do this with a thumb.

I sucked my thumb until aged about 10 when I grew out of it. My teeth returned to "normal" with no noticable overbite (at one stage the overbite was quite big).

I don't have a proble with any kind of comforter, though do have a problem with the public pressure to ditch the dummy. It is my daughter's comfort in a big scary world.

thesecondcoming Tue 20-Apr-10 22:04:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Shaz10 Tue 20-Apr-10 22:04:48

I was a late dummy user and have straight teeth, no braces etc. And my enunciation is excellent! I am of course biased but I don't see the harm. She will grow out of it - how many adults have dummies?

ADuckCalledBill Tue 20-Apr-10 22:07:44

I think that people don't like it because the dummy is for babies to mimic the feeding motion of suckling to comfort themselves. By 5yrs old that sort of comfort sounds....well...yucky! A 5 yr old should be able to comfort themselves in other ways - cuddling a teddy etc.
Well I know what I mean, just can't think of a better way of expressing it blushgrin

seeker Tue 20-Apr-10 22:08:40

My ds goes to sleep with the tail of his toy dinosaur in his mouth and he's 9! I was visiting my very pregnant 35 year old niece a while ago, and saw her cuddled up under a rug on the sofa sucking her thumb!

My 14 year old dd still goes to bed with her teddy bear, and I need to listen to the radio to go to sleep.

If it's just at bed time and as soon as she's asleep it falls out or you remove it I can't see any harm at all, if it makes her happy.

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