Lost it "big time" with ds1 - what am I doing wrong?

[mumbojumbo]

....apart from losing it of course.

DS1 (3.7) has a habit of running off when we are out. I then spend what seems like ages running after him. Lately he has picked up a standing still and screaming habit too. Had two instances today where other people have been tutting at ds1 and me during one of these incidents. Unfortunately I then lost it with ds1 and told him to shut up (very loudly). If you were in a certain supermarket somewhere in Berkshire and heard a 40 year old mother of two lose her temper - yes it was me. It puts me off going anywhere as I know there will be a battle.

I feel such a c**p mum, I try and do all the positive parenting stuff but I feel like I'm just not having any success at the moment. His younger brother (21 months) has also started with the screaming too - get them both at it and I just want to run away and hide somewhere! I must be a prime candidate for one of those parenting makeover shows.

Rant over...

[collision]

Dont know what to say except that it is normal and my ds is doing it too. He is 3.7 yrs and today I smacked him hard.

I was soooo cross with him as we had had a lovely day out and then he lost it and freaked out.

I do hope it is a phase.

[emmatmg]

Ok, I'm going to admit this and if I get shot down then so be it but.......
I say shut up alot, infact in our house it's often shouted as it's the only thing that does shut them up.

Don't worry about it, it's nearly bed time now, start tomorrow as if today didn't happen and have a clean slate with them in the morning.

[saadia]

I'm having problems with 3.6 year old ds1 too.

He spent what seemed like most of yesterday on the naughty step after tormenting his brother and being totally defiant whenever I asked him to do anything. Seems better today. I think he's always worse on a Monday because he misses his dad.

Tried to spend more time playing with him today as I think he's craving attention, but that's only because ds2 slept longer than usual, otherwise I wouldn't have had the time.

Does it get better once they start nursery anyone?

[Fran1]

Can you give him some "jobs" to do whilst you're out to help keep him occupied.

E.g in supermarkets ask him to look out for bananas and put them in the trolley when he finds them. Give him one item to collect up each aisle, then loads of praise each time.

In shopping centres ask him to carry items you are going to purchase for you. Or when walking between shops ask him to find the shop with a big red sign etc

You have my sympathies i have days like your often with dd. But when i'm in the right frame of mind and do my suggestions above the whole thing goes a lot smoother!
And i know what you mean about losing your temper the more people look. I find i'm getting annoyed with the passers by looking, but take it out on dd

[Aragon]

You poor thing. Ignore nthose tutting people - either they've had children (in which case they should remember what this is like) or they haven't (in which case they have no right to pass comment).

It's nightmare isn't it? My DS specialises is lying on the ground while screaming when thwarted (usually in public). I'm afraid that despite all the positive parenting stuff I've ever learnt (I'm a health visitor)I just lose it and become a raging, screaming harridan. You're not alone - just keep telling yourself - "it's a stage - he'll grow out of it".

Oh and "The House of Tiny Tearaways" are looking for new families - see you there.

[mumbojumbo]

Oh bum! Just typed another reply and it bombed out somehow......I had a thought while the boys were in the bath. Tomorrow I'm going to make a sticker chart (a la Little Angels). Accent on the staying with mummy and keeping the volume down and being positive. Will then have to go somewhere to test it out!

It's good to know I'm not alone or going completely bonkers (and it's just a passing phase!)