6.5 mo getting v worried about development. Help!!

[goldie12]

Looking for some honest opinions!! My DS is 6.5 months and I am worried about several things that he's not doing.

• Doesn't roll either way. Has nearly gone back to tummy a few times but can't seem to move his arm from underneath to get all the way over.
  
  
• Doesn't reach out for toys v often
  
  
• slow in other things,eg, only started grabbing his feet at 6 months
  
  
• Often won't give me any eye contact when sitting in high chair
  
  
• Mostly happy to lie on back and kick or sit up and look around
  
  
• Not upset if I take a toy away and can't pass things hand to hand (only does it by accident)
  
  I think it's the not rolling and lack of motivation to move in any style that worries me most. Would appreciate any views. I kinda think he has weak arms, wrists.
  
  On the plus side, he has been bearing weight on his legs since 3.5 months and loves to stand. He sits unaided (since 6 months) and has a wicked laugh!
  
  Anyway, I won't waffle on any more. Do you think I should be worried

[fqueenzebra]

no, don't think you should be worried.

My youngest was a lot like you describe, (eg., didn't roll until 8 months, but walked at 11m) is fine now.

[Mosschops30]

Message withdrawn

[Jimjams]

How does he behave under a baby gym?

I think 6 months is too young to beover worried- and the only thing on your list that would worry me (ds3 is 6.5 months and is being watched like a hawk because ds1 has some major problems) is the not reaching out.

Hows his eye contact from a distance. I was worried when ds3 stopped liking close up eye contact but then I read that as the ability to focus on distant objects improves babies usually stop enjoying close up eye contact and instead prefer to grin at you across a room.

I wouldn't worry at alll about not wanting to move/roll etc- that is competely normal. keep an eye on the reaching out- if you hand him a toy does he take it (that's reaching if he does).

Also I am miss super paranoid about ds3 (and I was about ds2 as well), but if you';re too worried and watching you can miss some good times- so keep an eye but don't stress.

[piffle]

I think the sitting is a really positive thing, as the mum of one dd who has had delays on gross motor and language, the sitting (core stability in the abdomen) was really important for physical milestones.
Try to relax for another month and if you still have the gut feeling ask your GP for an opinion or a referral.
My experience taught me to avoid HV's with development questions, but yours may be a gem!
HTH

[goldie12]

Thanks for all your replies. It is so hard not to compare to other babies and I do try not to.

jimjams- he still enjoys kicking, wriggling grabbing and shaking things on his play gym. I think a lot of 6.5 mo babies are past this stage and bored by their play gyms though, aren't they?

As for eye contact, he does seem less interested in close eye contact than a few months ago. It is only when he is tired that he looks lovingly at me. Good point about being better at long distances- he kind of cricks (sp?) his neck to look round at me in the kitchen whilst he's sat in the living room. Can't get enough of going out to cafes etc and loves to look around and gets v excited. Just worries me that he will hardly ever look at me whilst sat on my lap or whilst I'm feeding him in highchair unless I put on a song and dance act!

He will take a toy if I dangle it in front of him. What I meant is he hardly ever makes an effort to reach for something that is only just out of reach, rather sits there like a puddin'!!!

Just out of interest, who would a GP refer you to if they felt the need? What would they do with a baby this age, or suggest to me and DH to improve things?

Thanks x

[Jimjams]

goldie he sounds fine. For comparison my ds1 is severely autistic. He never reached for anything- if you put him beneath a baby gym he was happy to just look- very happy and content but really didn't try and bash the items at all. I could hand him something but often I had to kind of touch the object to his hand before he would have noticed it.

Ds3 (6.5 months) is desperate to get to things out of reach, but ds2 sat somehwere between ds1 and ds3 and he's normally developing. Ds3 is happy to spend some time beneath a baby gym at the moment- and ds2 would certianly have been.

BTW I think the not wanting to look at you is normal in the situation you describe. Rather than do a song and dance to get his attention just comment on what he is already looking at- it's more effective for language development and attention etc.

Enjoy him for the moment- serioulsy I am watching ds3 for the slightest sing but nothing you have said would worry me in him. Just watch out for pointing (develops from 9 months - although around a yearish is more common- should be in place by 18 months)- that's what I'm waiting on tenter hooks for (it's a biggy development wise)

[Jimjams]

BTW I keep away fomr all other babies of the same age- otherwise I find my sanity slipping

[goldie12]

Thanks for your help jimjams...you obviously have a lot of experience with these probs.

Autism is the thing I am worried about tbh. I know it's probably impossible to diagnose at this age but I just get that feeling...other things I haven't mentioned are he is very placid, sleeps v. well (too well as a newborn and I had to wake him to feed) and he has a milk intolerance. Also just found an old thread you'd posted on and you mentioned the manic laughter thing. DS gets fits of giggles though it is when we are trying to make him laugh. Do normal babies not do this? I thought this was a positive thing that he does but not so sure now?

[goldie12]

He has also always been a fickle feeder...he can drink v. well but feeding is on his terms and wouldn't open his mouth enough to breastfeed. There is no just sticking a bottle in his mouth and expecting him to suck. Gets v. distracted if feeding at someone else's house in cafe- looking around is much better than drinking etc etc!

[nell12]

My ds NEVER found his hands or feet, he rolled (ish)at 7 months, couldn't be bothered with crawling until nearly a year and was the most chilled out soul ever never really getting upset over stuff.
He is now 9, has the reading age of a 12/13 year old, plays grade 3 cornet and is top of his class.
(still a lazy bugger, and completely chilled, though!)
Think of them not as development milestones and more of characteristics coming to the fore!

[nell12]

Oh yes, a fickle feeder as well. 1 fromage frais took 1 HOUR to get in him!!!!

[Pollyanna]

Goldie, your ds sounds like my dd3 - she is 6.5mo too and isn't doing anything at all! Not even sitting and she certainly can't bear her weight on her legs. She doesn't roll at all, and might reach out for things slightly, but not if they're too far out of reach. I haven't noticed her swapping things from hand to hand. She is extremely placid and goodnatured and sleeps very well too. I mentioned all of this to my hv who told me not to worry, but just to enjoy my baby

[goldie12]

Thanks Nell,
At the moment, I waiver between worrying about autism and thinking he's just a chilled out but independent, in the 'I'll do what I damned well like on my agenda' little thing. Sincerely hope it's the latter as I am a fairly lazy type too!

Was your DS good at fine motor things as a baby. It's the global slowness that's abit scary.

[goldie12]

Pollyanna, good to hear your dd is similar and you are just enjoying her . Were your other dd's similar to dd3? I sometimes think that if ds wasn't my first I wouldn't have as much time to worry about all this.

[Jimjams]

ds3 laughs as well as well goldie- often at us and crazily when tickled. TBH I think autism is very hard to spot in such a young baby- there are ways in which babies who go onto develop autism differ but they're hard to pick up outside a research lab! (they differ in terms of seconds spent looking at thigs etc).

IN the case of ds3 whop is 75 times more likely to be autiastic than Joe Public I can't really say for certain yet. He's not donig anything that particularly worries me, and if he is autistic he;s very different from ds1, but he's not doing anything to rule out autism. I'm just sitting it out for the rest of the year and will relax when he uses his index fnger t point- I figure there' s not much else I can do, so I don't worry too much and try and enjoy him. If he is autistic then I'll have to get on with it when it becomes apparent- so may as well enjoy our time now (iyswim)- worry about development can destroy a happy time.

[PandaBear]

Goldie - re the eye contact thing, I watched the first episode of the great sex experiment that's currently being shown - and they said that all baby boys prefer to look at "things" rather than faces/people. Girls - like faces! Maybe that's what's going on there. Natural curiosity for discovering his world!! Good luck and enjoy him (BTW my DD1 didn't crawl until 11 months, and walked at 14 and is now running round like a mad thing day in day out!).

[Jimjams]

oh the other thing goldie is that running/walking etc is completely irrelevent if its autism you are worrying about. DS1 was late crawling and walking (within normal range though) but friend have had autistic children who have walked as early as 9 months.

[goldie12]

Jimjams, the fact autism can't be diagnosed for another 18 months or so makes it more frustrating I think. Particularly when parents of autistic children seem to say that the signs were there v. early when they look back.

I think I'm more concerned about the whole picture rather than just the lack of motivation to move. I never crawled but bottom shuffled (not sure when) and walked at around 20 months- v. late!! However, I was good with the fine motor and language. DS seems to be lagging with all this. He does make a few ah-boo sounds though.

Anyway, I will probably go and see the gp soon but I know there's nothing they can do really. Is there a particular kind of referral I could at least ask for. What about an OT?

Sorry to be so neurotic but everything I read seems to fit him. Breech position and milk intolerance I have just found are linked too!!!

[Jimjams]

can be officially flagged up in a year- (have a look at the chat thread on SN) but in the meantime he'll probably start pointing and then you'lll know not to worry. I'm aqssuming that ds3 will start to point around 12 monthish and then I can stop worrying! I'll "know" by a year or so I think. I knew ds2 was fine by 15 months.

[QueenOfQuotes]

Haven't read any other replies yet

but

Doesn't roll either way

DS1 didn't roll until he was nearly 10 months old, even then he could only roll in one direction.

• Doesn't reach out for toys v often
  
  DS1 didn't reach out for toys at all until he was about 8 months old
  
  
• slow in other things,eg, only started grabbing his feet at 6 months
  
  DS1 never grabbed his feet at all - don't think he knew he had any (was a late walker too which helps me come to that conclusion LOL).
  
  
• Often won't give me any eye contact when sitting in high chair
  
  Neither of my DS's did at that age, DS1 started about 10 months (when he realised it was worth looking at mummy when I was trying to give him food). DS2 still doesn't bother much now - he's 20 months and is mucn more interested in everything else going on around him to look at boring old mummy.
  
  
• Mostly happy to lie on back and kick or sit up and look around
  
  Oh yes - DS1 through and through, he was a 'watcher' until he started 'moving' at 11 months.
  
  
  
• Not upset if I take a toy away and can't pass things hand to hand (only does it by accident)
  
  DS1 was just the same, his fine motor skills were terrible until he was about 2yrs old (he only figured out buildig with bricks when he was over 2yrs old He was also a slow talker (unlike his brother who's now taking to copying me - like at dinner last night when I pretended DS2 was saying "SOOOOO" to his daddy.........he turned round and went "SOOOOOO" back
  
  DS1 is about to start school in September, has completely caught up with his peers (and over taken them in some aspects).
  
  All babies develop at different rates so try not to worry just yet.

[nell12]

Ds was slow at everything as a baby; fine motor skills still not brill... His teacher said to me at last meeting "I can just about read his writing and I think that is as good as it will get.."
Thinking about your thread more today, and I remembered it was (and is) impossible to bribe him, he just did not care enough. When things came his way, all well and good, if they didn't, never mind!
He will find something he loves soon (Teletubbies, Thomas etc.) and you will wonder what has become of him!

[Caththerese1973]

I don't think you should worry. Babies learn to move at really different rates. And sometimes they do things in a weird order. Sometimes a baby that likes to sit, and sat early, will not want to roll. My friend's child was like this. She learned to crawl and roll at about the same time (10-11 months). She was also basically nonverbal (not much babble) until quite recently but now she says mama, daddy and 'there' and a couple of other words, so she seems to be coming along nicely!
I would not get worried about the things you are describing for another 5-6 months. If he still won't roll or crawl, won't make much eye contact and won't point or reach for things by then, then maybe you would be more concerned. It's good that he laughs and likes a joke....that's a good sign that there's nothing amiss with his mental development.

[goldie12]

Thanks QOQ, Nell and Catherese

I do kind of feel reassured but still have an uneasy feeling. I saw the GP yesterday who did seem concerned but said still early days and to wait til the 8 month check. Does anyone know what exactly would happen if he doesn't do so well with that...I imagine I will be told to give it time again. What are your experiences with the 8 month check?

I am more worried today actually as he seems to have lost the ah-boo's and ah-goo's and blowing raspberries that he was doing. This is not a good sign surely. His only sounds in the last week are 'aaaaaaaaaaaa'. I could understand it if he was really working on other skills etc but apart from reaching for things a little better, he isn't!

[QueenOfQuotes]

" I saw the GP yesterday who did seem concerned but said still early days and to wait til the 8 month check"

Just be warned that lots of GP's are completely clueless when it comes to baby development.

As for the ahh's and boo' - don't worry my DS1 was just the same, quite 'chatty' for a while, then hardly made any 'babbling' type sounds until much later, and wasn't really talking properly until after he was 2yrs old.

Some children, boys in particular, can be very "lazy" developmentally. I know how it feels, all of my postnatal group friends who had babies of a similar aged appeared (to me) to have really advanced children - making my lazy DS1 look a long way behind.

[Jimjams]

I wouldn't worry about losing early sounds- deaf babies babble then stop- later babble is more related to speech iyswim- it's a different system - and too early to worry about yet.

If he remains very passive stress that at the check and ask for a follow up 3 months later. That gives you time to check for pointing. If that isn't present at the 11 month check (3 months later- and it may well not be- still well within the normal range) ask for another follow up. If pointing not present then - and still passivity you can start to ask for a referral to a dev paed.

at least that's what I would do (and will do if ds3 starts to give me cause for concern).