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Fears- probably very rational ones- can anyone help?

(3 Posts)
vwvic Fri 22-Jul-05 14:58:22

As some of you may be aware of, I had a severe allergic reaction to a wasp sting earlier this week. My problem is that dd1, a sensitive soul at the best of times, has become extremely anxious about wasps. She is anaphylactic herself, so understands about the process of a reaction.

She was very worried this morning about going to school, and asked me who would watch out for wasps for me whilst she was away. She was in a bit of a quandry, as she wanted to go the the last day of school, but at the same time she really wanted to stay home with me to "keep me safe".

I have a suspicion that the real cause of the problem is that she is scared of me dying- a real, albeit unlikely, possibility if I get stung again. Dh& I have told her that we are going to try and carry on with life as normal, but take the right sort of precautions, just as we do with our other allergies. That sounds uncaring- we did it in a very understanding, non- threatening way, IYSWIM. I'm not sure that it's helped any, TBH.

So, as well as feeling pretty ropey physically atm, I also feel like I an failing in my care of her emotional needs. How can I help her to deal with this very scary, unwelcome aspect of our life?

colditz Fri 22-Jul-05 15:02:34

Um... cover her in bug spray and tell her that's what you've done?

PrettyCandles Fri 22-Jul-05 15:51:51

How often has your dd had anaphylactic reactions herself? I mean, is it a very rare event, or has it happened often enough for her to have seen good recoveries? I've not seen it myself, but I can imagine it must be very distressing (I remember my little sister with severe croup and the desperate helplessness I felt then). But to know that you can recover fully and that you have the means to do so can be reassuring. After the first time my sister had croup we had a bottle of medicine in the cupboard, and its presence reassured me enormously, because she had bad attacks several times a year and after the second one (ie when we already had the medicine on hand) I knew that the medicine would work within minutes and she would recover. At that age (I was 8) I really feared she would choke to death, and I wouldn't let my mum bin the medicine for several years after my sister had grown out of the croup.

Can you reassure her that being stung by a wasp is a very rare event? It's only happened to me once in nearly 40 years, despite being around them fairly often - I even had a wasps nest in the wall of my flat once, and nothing happened.

Can you get her to help you apply insect repellent on you before she or you go out?

My parents used to have a lot of wasps on their terrace because of the types of plants they have, but since the have taken to hanging a wasp trap in the tree on the terrace, there are barely any to bother them. It took several tries of different traps over a couple of years to find one that worked the best for them.

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