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Does anyone have a child who was delayed developmentally but turned out fine?? I need some positive storys.

(26 Posts)
mummyloveslucy Wed 10-Mar-10 20:26:44

Hi, my 5 year old daughter has always had speech problems. Even now her speech is quite hard to understand especially if people don't know her. Sometimes even I can't grasp what she's saying. She also has a problem with toilet training, she manages to stay dry at school, but at home she wets and messes herself frequently. hmm We had a 4 day assesment with her at a hospital unit and they summed it up by saying she has a mild global developmental delay. So basically she's like a 3 year old mentally.
This did come as a bit of a surprise.
I was wondering what her chances would be of catching up with her class mates?
Does anyone have a child who was like this but turned out fine academically? I'd really like to hear some positive storys as everything so far has been so negative.

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mummyloveslucy Wed 10-Mar-10 20:51:09

bump

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BrigitteBardot Wed 10-Mar-10 21:02:33

I don't have any stories but I didn't want to see your post unanswered. I hope you can find good stories where the child ends up catching up on his age group. There might be some techniques to help your DD improving?

pagwatch Wed 10-Mar-10 21:08:13

mummy

I know exactly what you are feeling but I don't have the positive storythat you want.
I remember watching DS2 showing astonishing signs of ctaching up andthen showing huge delays and I lived and breathed every one.

Then gradually I realised that I was looking at him all thetimes in terms of this timetable of ability and I was missing his childhood and actually missing him.

I have no idea if your DD will catch up or not. But i am pretty sure that you will help her have a happy and fulfilled life.
And I think that each step we take towards letting where our children 'should be' go , the better.

I hope this doesn't sound crass. It isn't meantto.
I just lost a lot of time and a lot of energy. I chased therapies for my son that helped him be his best. I just should never have chased 'normal'. It was so unfair to both of us

mummyloveslucy Wed 10-Mar-10 21:08:21

Thank you. smile

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mummyloveslucy Wed 10-Mar-10 21:21:35

Thanks Pagwatch, I know what you mean. It's hard when you see the other children in the class not to compare and think is there any chance of her ever catching up.
As long as she's doing her best then that's all that should matter. She is such a gorgeous, happy and loving little charactor I really want to enjoy her childhood but I do sometimes find it very stressful when she keeps wetting and messing herself when she's not at school.

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pagwatch Wed 10-Mar-10 21:24:27

I know just what you mean.

And we both know that it just comes from this aching desire for their lives to be less difficult. It is incredibly hard to see our children struggling.

I still have moments when I can see the child he so nearly was and it just breaks my heart.
But i remind myself of how hard he works and how far we have all come andtry not to think about the road ahead too much.

I read your posts often. You are a great advocate for your daughter. I think you are doing so well - both of you.

mummyloveslucy Wed 10-Mar-10 21:30:06

Thank you smile

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mintyfresh Wed 10-Mar-10 21:32:27

I'm hoping to hear a positive story too! My 2 yo dd is delayed physically and I just want to think that one day she will be able to run and jump like her peers. She has a brain injury so there is a good chance she won't and it does break my heart sad Her speech is also affected - a bit slurred and unclear.

It's such a tough wait isn't it - I hope someone replies with a positive story for you..

asdx2 Wed 10-Mar-10 21:36:05

My dd Lucy had a developmental age of 6 to 12 months when she was diagnosed with autism at age 2.
Now at just 7 she has no delays anywhere and academically is very able (headteacher says outstanding) she does still have autism though.
I think my Lucy though is an exception though in so far as she has gone from delayed to advanced but I have heard of other children making good progress and catching up with their peers when they have enough of the right input.

HOMEMADECHUTNEY Wed 10-Mar-10 22:58:20

Hi Mummyloveslucy,
I just wanted to tell you that ds2 was placed in an early intervention prog at 2yrs4mths.
He had no words, almost no gestures (esp not pointing, which was v significant), we were never given a diagnosis, always told he was diagnostic, whatever the f* that means. I don't want to give false hope here, tho I totally feel and understand what you're going through. It is unbearable to watch their peers and make comparisons.

To cut a long story short, he caught up with everything, despite his first word being "mum" at the age of three. He is now 7 and fine, but for 2yrs we had no idea how things would turn out.

I think it is very difficult when you have a little one like your dd who seems so able in so many ways,and yet there is always the worry there. You sound like a great caring caring mum, and i will go to bed thinking of you and your little one. I have no doubt she will absolutely live her childhood and life to the fullest of her potential with you in her corner.

Btw, I also feel that i wasted my little man's precious toddler years worrying about all the little things that seemed odd or Abnormal.

Take care of yourself and your dd is a lucky little girl to have you as her mum.

lou031205 Wed 10-Mar-10 23:18:19

hi mummyloveslucy smile. I am another one who doesn't have a golden story. DD1 had 'GDD' when she was 2.9, and now at 4.3 the gap has significantly widened with her peers. She is really like a 2 year old, I think. Her SAL delay has widened from 7 months, to over 1 year. She will start SN school in september.

I would echo pagwatch, really. I am mourning the childhood DD1 should have had, watching her peers grow up, and watching her stay so young. But I will accept it, and enjoy her. Because she is a delight, and a privilege to parent. The pain of seeing her struggle is just breathtaking sometimes, though.

mummyloveslucy Thu 11-Mar-10 09:31:20

Thank you HOMEMADECHUTNEY, that is so lovely. It almost bought a tear to my eye. (O.k, it did bring a tear to my eye) grin
She has made progress all of a sudden, she loves writing and can now write random letters in a line, with lines underneath for eg m e c y this is always very neet. She takes a lot of care over it.

I find it very sad for her that she is so sociable and is such a people person and people don't understand what she's saying, or sometimes ignore her.
She always chats to people in shops, and says shuch nice things like "What's your name called?" followed by "Oh, that's a pretty name, my name is Lucy". They often just look at her, or laugh nervously. sad
Then when it's time to go, she says things like "It was lovely to meet you", but they very rarely reply.

Sometimes I feel like saying "my daughter just said ....."

I feel that her social skills are way above all the children in her class and she is so confident, she'll happily stand up in assenbely and recite a poem she's memorised. I really hope that her hard work will pay off for her, she has so much going for her that I don't want her problems to hold her back.

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lou031205 Thu 11-Mar-10 10:18:36

MLL, do say "Oh, lucy just said...." - I still have to interpret for DD1 lots, and I do because I think there is nothing worse than being ignored.

A friend's child was often unclear in her speech and I always said "sorry, x, I didn't understand you. Say it again, please", because by pretending I had understood, it meant that it didn't matter what she had said. And it did.

tartyhighheels Thu 11-Mar-10 10:34:00

my middle dd has always been delayed in everything - smiling sitting walking and talking and only did toilet training ontime funnily enough. She is classed as having a moderate to severe speech and language delay receptively too. She is very popular at school, has immense charm, whcih i thnk developed when she really could not talk at all and now is doing well. She is way behind most in her class re. reading and writing and all that, off the bottom of the scal to be honest but in herself she is cool. Her teacher cannot praise her highly enough but of course I worry for her. She doesn't get what you say if you talk to quickly and mixes up her words when she answers, no one can predict what is going to happen. She also has a cute baby voice which when you are six is ok but could be a problem when she is older. i too am terrified that she will never catch up and will struglle in high school etc etc.

The main thing I worry about is her self esteem, at her old school she started to feel 'less than' but at a new school she has bloomed and i find that developmentally she makes big leaps in one go.

I would say try not to project too far into the future (even though i clearly am doing that) and try and give her as much extra curricular input as this has really helped us.

Keep your chin up, she sounds like a real charmer.

HOMEMADECHUTNEY Fri 12-Mar-10 22:51:55

Hi Mummyloveslucy

Just wanted to say that for some reason you and your little one have stayed in my head these past few days. Just to echo what THH said, she absolutely does sound like a little charmer, a gift which cannot be underestimated in this world!

Feel really angry with those idiots who fail to respond to her sweet nature. This is a very big world we live in, and Lucy's gifts are as valid and needed as any others.

Keep fighting the good fight! (I know you do and will anyway)

Reallytired Fri 12-Mar-10 23:39:43

I have a positive story. My son was late learning to walk and his speech was badly delayed due to glue ear.

He walked at 20 months, but was not confident on his feet until the age of two and half. He had orthopedic problems which interfered with his walking.

My son's speech was very delayed until he had grommets. When the grommets fell out he later had hearing aids, but his hearing is OK now.

He had physio and was under the local child development centre for four years.

Now at the age of eight you would never know he had a problem. He is never going to be althetic, but he can run about the playground. Academically he is going well, although his handwriting is still weak.

Development is a journey not a race.

CleverlyConcealed Fri 12-Mar-10 23:56:47

My dd was developmentally delayed. She has continuing health problems which mean't she was hospitalised and fully ventilated for periods during her first couple of years, she had ENT issues which affected her communication and orthopaedic problems too. She was around 18 months behind at 3 but by 6 had pretty much caught up communication wise but did lag physically for a longer period.

As parents our happiness is so rooted in the fate of our children. Some have paths more difficult than others. It doesn't mean they won't get there eventually. Wherever 'there' is. Lucy sounds lovely smile Keep going - she'll do fine with you as her advocate.

messymissy Sat 13-Mar-10 00:07:56

a positive story ...

my nephew - now 9 was very late to speak and had severe problems with making recognisable word sounds. He was diagnosed with a type of dyspraxia at about 2 and had speech therapy (combined with signing) from about 2.5 to 4 and was in a special needs class at school from 4 to 6.

Because of his delayed speech and inability to make certain sounds, he was very difficult to understand. His main problem was making friends at playgroup, nursery and then school, the other kids just got fed up trying to understand him so he got a bit lonely. The staff in his reception class were great and teamed him up with children who liked to do quiet play and did their best to encourage him, but it was very sad to see him standing on his own in the playground.

His mum and the rest of the family could usually understand what he was saying and he was encouraged to speak and sign simultaneously to prevent his frustration at not being understood but also practice speaking.

but heres the good bit - by 6 he had improved enough to be put in the main stream class. Now at 9 he is doing really well - especially in Maths and has made loads of friends. His speech still sounds slightly different but he is perfectly understandable.

mummyloveslucy - my LO is also very sociable and will try to talk to adults and other children in shops and out and about - what saddens me the most is the number of adults and children who don't have the manners to even try to reply, or acknowledge a cheery 'Hello Lady' 'Hello little Boy'. the exception to this rule is charity shops - the army of lady volunteers are usually so lovely and friendly.

Are there shops / places you go regularly where she can get to know them / they know her? I think it would help make shopping outings more fun.

Lucy sounds lovely and good on her to keep trying to talk to people despite the infrequency of getting a reply. What a spirit!!

kissingfrogs Sat 13-Mar-10 00:15:16

Reallytired:
"Development is a journey not a race"
I love that, that's going to be my motto now.

Reallytired Sat 13-Mar-10 17:36:18

Life sometimes surprises you. My little boy did really well in his key stage 1 SATs inspite of having developmental problems as toddler.

It helps to have a good community paediatrian who can spot simple things like glue ear or orthopedic problems and get intervention in place.

BonnyBlue Sun 14-Mar-10 09:06:15

Thanks everyone for your positive storys and advice.
We actually go to charity shops a lot and we've found the staff to be the most friendly, and most likely to chat to Lucy. We go to the same small family run fruit and vedge shop every day and they know her in there. They say she's their "little ray of sunshine" when she comes through the door. smile
I know development is not a race, I suppose it's just not knowing what the future holds. I don't care how long she takes, but I'd love to think she'll make it in the end.
She deserves too!!

BonnyBlue Sun 14-Mar-10 09:08:18

OOOps just realised I didn't change my name back. It's mummyloveslucy.

I'll change it back now!

Susiejo77 Wed 20-Jun-18 11:35:34

how is your daughter doing now?

Tryagain1 Tue 06-Nov-18 23:06:43

Yes it would be lovely to update - I hope she is still a little Ray of sunshine :~)

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