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DS's behaviour is gong backward please help!

(9 Posts)
charleepeters Mon 18-Jul-05 10:10:14

DS (10 months) is suddenly behaving very different from what he used to, it took us so so so long to get him to sleep through the night he was 7 months when he finally managed, and it took us that long to get him to play independantly, by himself sometimes.

Over the last month however he seems to be slipping back into old habits - he has started waking up again 1-2 times in the ngiht and has started screaming everytime i put him down to play by himself.

Now your all going to shout at me and shoot me now but we origionally got him to sleep all night by himself byt letting him cry it out in his got untill he went to sleep (i want to stress he was reguarly checked and never in danger!) he has got into the habit of falling asleep withi his bedtime bottle which he drinks in his cot, but everytime he wakes he wants juice or water, i want to get him out of that.

He used to play in his walker/ on the floor by himself really well but now he screams blue murder if im not holding him and playing with him at all times! He alos screams when hes eing dressed or undressed and having his nappy changed

Why has he changed so much, am i spoiling him by letting him get away with it and giving him everything he demands?? what can i do to get my happy well behaved baby back???

KiwiKate Mon 18-Jul-05 11:07:10

Why don't you want him to have water at night? I'd just leave a bottle of water in his bed so he could help himself.

Could he be teething? Most of them are unsettled/wake at night when they are teething

He might just be going through a stage where he needs you more, or maybe he needs some different things to play with? 10 months seems really young to be playing independantly. My ds is 2.3yo and loves the interaction of us doing things with him. Of course we do encourage him to play on his own, and he does it at times, but I think they need the interaction.

charleepeters Mon 18-Jul-05 11:51:34

I dont not want DS to have water its just he can onlt hold it if i put it in his mouth frist, so i have to go into him, and before he was going all through the night and i didnt have to go into him at all.

As for the playing independently i dont mean for hours and hours on his own, i mean if i i have some dusting to do in the lounge ect, he used to sit on the floor and watch or play so i could get on with it, but now he sries if i put him down or if im not next to him.

I have tought he was teething loads of times when hes had really bad days, dribbling, crying, chewing, but this had been going on for 4 months now and theres no sign of teeth any where.

charleepeters Mon 18-Jul-05 18:22:53


chicagomum Mon 18-Jul-05 18:45:46

no real words of advice i'm afraid, we're going thru the same with ds he's 7 months and was sleeping through since 4 months but now wakes up for a feed at 11 and is ready to start the day at 5.30 am like yours he doean't like to be put on the floor rather prefering to be carried and interacted with constantly luckily he thinks his big sis is the best thing since sliced bread so that buys me a bit of time, i don't know why they change their "usual" style of behaviour i guess its just because their brain is developing and they have diff wants and needs

jellyhead Mon 18-Jul-05 18:55:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

robinia Mon 18-Jul-05 19:01:04

9 / 10 months is classic age for separation anxiety to kick in so that's why he wants you all the time. Best tactic is to make any separation very short so he gets used to the fact that you do come back every time.

Re. night time, can you get him a bottle with handles so it's easier for him to manage by himself? With this weather and with the separation anxiety kicking in at the same time it's no surprise he's waking more. And teething does seem to go on for ever

Fran1 Mon 18-Jul-05 19:06:58

As Robinia says this is the age for seperation anxiety.

I used to work in an nursery and children whom we'd had from age 3mths and werer totally settled would hit 10mths and start screaming blue murder the minute their parents left them. They have reached an age where they have a fear of strangers or worry about a parent not coming back if they go.

My dd didn't sleep through the night until 6mths, i think that is quite common, and for us it only lasted two months when she started waking again - and still does at 2.5years! But this is because i am too tired to try and sleep train, we let her get into bed with use when she wakes in the early hours. Not sure of the reasons why they starte waking - could be teething, could be heat, or could be the separation anxiety again. Their body clocks have possibly always come into a lighter sleep around then, and now they are older they realise their parents aren't there and so wake up fully.

If you have the time and the patience i'm sure you could encourage him back to sleep each night and eventually withdrawing the amount of contact each night.
But i'm no expert as i never got that far!
good luck!

KiwiKate Tue 19-Jul-05 01:50:49

Charleepeters, sounds to me like he is teething (and possibly going through seperation anxiety). Try a soothing gel, like bonjella when he cries at night. If it stops him crying then you can be pretty sure it is teething. Also a bottle of water in his bed could help sooth him (the coolness on the gums seems to bring some relief). I know you think this is a backwards step - but if he's driving you nuts, and could help himself to the water and settle himself back down, it might be worth a try. But when teething pain gets really bad, he may not settle by himself, even with water.

Most kids wake up in the night when teething, even if they have previously slept through.

My friend's dd went through what yours is going throug, (incl the crying, dribbling) for about 7 months before a tooth showed up. Apparently teeth can sometimes move up in the gums, but not break through, and then just stop! Just because you don't see any results, does not mean they are not teething. It can take months and months. IN fact my friend's dd's teeth only broke through the gums when she fell on her mouth and split open her gums and they found that the teeth were close to the surface (but not close enough to feel if pressing on the gums).

Some have really sore ears with teething (like my ds) and it makes them really clingy. Unsurprising that they want the comfort of being close to mum at such times.

Plus, as mentioned by others, seperation anxiety can set in, but this was never really an issue for us as I just spent more time with him when he wanted, up to about 14 months when I thought he was milking it a bit. I don't think the need for mum is them being "naughty" or forming bad habits, certainly not at such a young age.

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