2 y-old aggressive to older sister - how to stop it?

[englishpatient]

My son is 3 in September and has recently become very aggressive towards his sister aged 7. They have always got on really well before now and she is very patient with him, but is now getting smacked, squeezed, pinched almost all the time he's with her. He doesn't seem to respond to reasoning and now we're trying putting him in his room on his own when he does this, making him say he'll be nice to her before he's allowed out. It works a bit in the very short term but not really. Anyone got any helpful ideas? (He doesn't do it to any other children.)

[Chandra]

Pasta jars

[englishpatient]

Sorry - what???

[Chandra]

I will try to find the thread for you, it's a mumsnet's classic.

[Chandra]

here

[spidermama]

I've had this. Same age gap too. The trouble is she's so eloquent and can express herself better so he gets frustrated and makes his voice heard in the way he feels is most effective - violence.

He needs to be ignored as even telling him off is giving him the attention he craves. Try ignoring him and making a big fuss of her when it happens.

If he's really badly violent, put him out of the room without a word and, again, make a big fuss of her.

Good luck.

[englishpatient]

Thank you both so much for your help. Chandra, I will think about how the pasta jars might work for him! Spidermama, did your older one ever tease the younger one to make him do it, so that she could get him "told off"?! This is not what happens most of the time but she does do it sometimes. You're right about ignoring him, he hates it when he's put out of the room.