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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

Please Help Us - scared child

47 replies

Dior · 05/07/2005 21:52

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Dior · 06/07/2005 20:26

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flashingnose · 06/07/2005 20:30

I think I'd be inclined to involve a professional as it's reached the stage where it's having a real impact on day to day life. Sounds very much like you've tried lots of different things, all to no avail, so this must now be bordering on phobia.

I'd visit your GP for advice/referral, I think.

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Magscat · 06/07/2005 20:30

Any idea what started it? I mean, was there any identifiable trigger? How old is he?

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morningpaper · 06/07/2005 20:31

Gosh I agree, a professional might be a good idea at this point. I don't know how old he is but I've read that hypnotherapy can be very useful for children, might be worth looking into. Good luck!

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Dior · 06/07/2005 20:42

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Magscat · 06/07/2005 20:47

I've just seen your post on the idea of a 4 year old being a drama queen and it's funny our boys are the same age and it sounds like both can be a bit anxious/dramatic about certain things.

How does his behaviour feel to you ? I mean does it feel like he's doing it for attention or like he really can't help it/is genuinely terrified? Does he get over it straight away once he can't see the pine cones?

Has he ever been like this about anything else?

My ds went through a phase of being scared of one of the blokes on Smarteenies and screamed at us to turn off the telly if he was on.

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Dior · 06/07/2005 20:53

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starlover · 06/07/2005 20:55

will he tell you WHY he is scared of them?

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Dior · 06/07/2005 20:59

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starlover · 06/07/2005 21:01

do you think you could gradually introduce them to him?
ie, perhaps get a picture of one... ask him to draw one... show him a tiny one...etc etc
build it up until he is used to seeing them?

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helsi · 06/07/2005 21:01

does he realise the fact that he is bigger then they are and have you tried squshing one under foot to demonstrate the power that we as people would have over the pine cone and that we can "hurt" it rather than the other way round? does this make sense? just trying to explain in an easy way that I would for dd.

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Magscat · 06/07/2005 21:02

Might be worth checking out with GP or with a freindly Health Visitor if you have one (my HV is better than my GP - more human IYKWIM.

Sorry if this worries you more than you are already. It's really hard to get inside their heads isn't it?

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helsi · 06/07/2005 21:03

additionally, have you tried bribing him into thinking that they could be magical? I don't know but off the top of my head could they be linked to magic or fairies or something else thathe likes?

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starlover · 06/07/2005 21:03

like helsi's idea... also if you have an open fire you can throw some on?

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Dior · 06/07/2005 21:04

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Magscat · 06/07/2005 21:05

Can any of the teachers at pre-school shed any light ?

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Magscat · 06/07/2005 21:05

Was just wondering if someone threw one at him or something like that.

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helsi · 06/07/2005 21:07

how about telling him that if he gets scared and sad then that makes Santa sad and it means he can't concentrate on getting all the pressies ready for Xmas so he needs to try and ignore the pine cones etc be brave so that Santa can carry on working getting the pressies ready for Xmas.

sorry a bit weak but kids go for simple and not complicated things!!

I will have a think of some more things to try.

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Dior · 06/07/2005 21:08

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Dior · 06/07/2005 21:10

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Magscat · 06/07/2005 21:11

Fingers crossed for you & your ds. I really feel for you.

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Magscat · 06/07/2005 21:12

Sorry I can't think of anything else. If I do, I'll be back

Let us know how it goes.

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marthamoo · 06/07/2005 21:13

Bless him - I think you have tried everything you can on an 'amateur' level and it's time to seek professional help: it does sound like a genuine phobia. Best of luck - poor little mite - let us know how you get on.

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Dior · 06/07/2005 21:13

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throckenholt · 06/07/2005 21:13

If it was my DS - also 4 next week - I would sit him down when he was calm and talk about what it is about pine cones that upsets him. Try and get him to explain how they make him feel, don't push him, but try and let him find his own words.

It is probably some very illogical (to an adult mind) connection that he has made.

As an example, I have another ds who is 2.5. He "sees" things - eg animal faces in the knots on a plank of wood. He had been pulling the wall paper off his wall beside his bed (another story ) last week, and just after bed time he became hysterical because he "didn't like the rabbit". It turned out the rabbit was a shape he could see in the torn out wall paper - so I then had to pull a whole load more off and convince him it had gone home. He has since been telling me on a regular basis that the rabbit has gone home to tea ! I have also spent some hours stripping off the rest of the wallpaper ready for redecorating.