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Is my child a loner??

(5 Posts)
Mandymoo Mon 04-Jul-05 21:09:33

DD is 2.6 and quite simply, apart from one little boy in particular, doesnt seem to like other children!! BY this i mean that when we go to groups and stuff she will stick to me like glue, moan and grimace when other children approach her, keep other children at arms length (sometimes) and generally plays lovely on her own but will throw her rattle out of the pram (literally!) if another child tries to join in. How can I make her more sociable????

QueenZebra Mon 04-Jul-05 21:19:24

I was a loner & my parents did all the wrong things trying to make me more sociable.... Basically, made me feel quite bad about myself -- for instance, they would drag me to parties, all I wanted to do at the party was read a book, and they would tell me off for it very strongly.

She may change as she grows up.
She may be much better with just one other child in the room (not with the whole group threatening to demand her attention & get in her space). Provide her chances to play with just one child, esp. if it's a child who does things that she also likes to do.
Help her to assert herself in groups, but don't pressure her to be a social butterfly.

I do know what it's like as a parent, btw. My own DD really doesn't "like" other people, except her parents and big brother. She sat happily & quietly in a church yesterday, she loved the peaceful stillness of it (she's not yet 4yo!). But she is starting to try to play with other children, when she finds another child that she actually likes.

Mandymoo Mon 04-Jul-05 21:21:23

Thanks Queenzebra - what you said makes alot of sense and i really dont want to push her into being something she's not but at the same time I want to give her every oppotunity to play with other children. Will just take her lead i guess - thanks again X

Janh Mon 04-Jul-05 21:27:06

DS2 was like this pretty much all the way through playgroup and nursery and there wasn't anything anybody could do about it. From school visits before he started in reception the teacher thought he would be a nightmare, but in fact he appeared to improve a lot over the summer holidays and was no trouble at all socially when he started school (although he fell in and out of friendships over the years).

He is 12 now, in Y7; he is still not the most sociable child and I still cringe at some of the things he says and does but he gets by. I agree with zebra, you can't make them sociable.

Actually I probably should have referred to DD2 as well, who is now 20 and has a huge circle of friends, but used to stick to me like glue pre-school and was also pretty prickly at primary school. They are who they are and you can't do much about that; just go along with it and try not to fret

Janh Mon 04-Jul-05 21:28:36

Oh, and avoid groups of 3 children like the plague.

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