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help please - suspected ADHD no one will listen!!

(29 Posts)
butty Mon 04-Jul-05 12:36:37

I need advise desperatley as i am losing my rag with the health sector.
For the last 2 years i have been trying to get help with my daughter as i fear she has ADHD or possibly Aspergis. No one seems to take this seriously and i desperatly need help as i can no longer cope with her behaviour and my son has CP and Global DD. I could list the things that she does but i would be here all day. She is good at school although her academic is much better at home than in school and the teachers are telling me she can't do this and she can't do that and yet she is perfectly capable and able to do these things at home and with others in the family which makes me feel like a liar but i am not. She is totally off the rails and never listens, she has no fear and just doesnt care about anything, she is violent and abusive towards me and others, her temper is out of control and she never stops from when she gets up till bedtime and this is getting much worse and she isn't 5 for another month. Why wont people listen!! Please help.

butty Mon 04-Jul-05 12:43:19


nell12 Mon 04-Jul-05 12:50:47

I can't give you much help I'm afraid, but how about keeping a diary of her behaviour ranging from all her acivities (include time she gets up, what she eats, how long she sits still for) and all her behaviour. Take it along to the GP and maybe he/she will see that you mean business and act by referring her to Child psych or like. Also there may be a pattern to her behaviour that has not been spotted yet (you must be run off your feet )
Good luck!

butty Mon 04-Jul-05 12:58:15

i Have done a diary and been to my Gp< health Visitor, Social services and she is on the waiting list for psych but the waiting list is 2 years and she's been on it for 9 months. I am going to have a nervous breakdown at this rate as feel so much hatred which i shouldnt but i cant help it as it never stops.

nell12 Mon 04-Jul-05 19:44:52

It must be dreadful for you, especially with the holidyas coming up, can you see the dr about how YOU feel. What about school? will they help by contacting dr about dd as well?
Is there anyone elso who can look after her to give you a break?

dizzymama Mon 04-Jul-05 19:49:19

can you havea quiet word with the senco at school? set up a proper meeting and take the diary?

flowerfairy Mon 04-Jul-05 20:58:28

If the school are saying that she can't do this and that, ahven't they recommended a way forward, ie haven't they set an IEP or passed concerns to the senco?

coppertop Mon 04-Jul-05 21:10:34

Is there any chance of getting a referral to a Developmental Paed and/or a multi-disciplinary assessment? It may be worth contacting a local ADHD support group and finding out what they recommend.

TrinaJ Mon 04-Jul-05 22:09:54

I used to work in a special needs nursery, with autistic, add, adhd, aspergers etc..
I sympathise with you and would like to help. I also have a cousin - in law, with an adhd child, I shall try and get some info and get back to you.
In the shortterm, BBC's little angels are looking for troubled families - try the bbc web site.
The autistic society have a web site, it should cover other syndromes too and might have info on referals.
From a professional point of view the teacher will have a profile of your child that you are entitled to see. This may help you see her from their point of view.
You can demand an appointment with teacher and head, and be firm, they must have concerns if they think she isn't achieving.
Hope you get some help I'll try and get back to you.
CAT me if you like!

TrinaJ Mon 04-Jul-05 22:29:39

I have found an ADHD web site. \link{} Don't know if it's any good?!

TrinaJ Mon 04-Jul-05 22:30:40

I have found an ADHD web site. Don't know if it's any good?!

TrinaJ Mon 04-Jul-05 22:31:45

Sorry having trouble putting link in, address is correct though.

butty Tue 05-Jul-05 14:12:58

cheers, i have demanded meetings with the school on several occasions with the senco co ordinator and all they keep telling me is that she is behind and they just disregarded my comments on the fact that she can do the things in question that they are disputing and they made me sign a progress plan to say that she was 2 levels behind and that she was bottom of the class. It feels as though they are demeening my daughters capabilities and with such problems with her behaviour and overall attitude at home and with others, i fear that they are pushing any ideas of further underlaying problems away as they dont have the time. I rung the school nurse this morning and demanded that someone be involved as i am fed up of waiting for the Psych as i have been told his waiting list is now 3 years, so she has arranged an appointment with the school doctor for next Tuesday as i gave her no other choice other than she gets seen or i crack up and i will not be responsible for my actions after 2 years of being very patient.!!

TrinaJ Tue 05-Jul-05 19:28:32

Good on you!! Don't let them beat you down. You know your dd better than anyone else! I have spoken to my cousin - in law- she is going to e-mail me some useful info and says she had the same trouble, the school kept saying he was slow and badly behaved, until she read an artical that made her realise his problems and persue them with the NHS.

hercules Tue 05-Jul-05 19:37:28

When will parents be given the help and advice they need for kids who need it? IT seems barmy in this day and age you have to fight so hard and wait so long for help which you need NOW not in 2 years.

Keep fighting!

butty Wed 06-Jul-05 10:09:29

Thanks, I will keep going as it is whats needed for my insanity and also for her well being, as i feel that she must feel bad to a certain extent as this is a medical problem and not just playing up.She can be so loving but this is rare and it is hard being a mum to find that our relationship is being diminished by uncontrolable behaviour and i never know what she is thinking about why she is always being told off or timeout and even worse when she has done something wrong she goes to the bottom stairs before being told only to come back and do the exact same things time and time again until she finds something else to destruct or annoy.!!

butty Wed 06-Jul-05 16:42:18

she has been on a school trip today and my mum has just rung me @ work to say that she has been defiant all day and running off when told not to!!!!!!! If only they would have believed me in the first place, although mum has said she has come back really upset, i hope that they hav'nt made her feel bad?? I only hope that they will start doing something to help rather than discourage the matter.

TrinaJ Wed 06-Jul-05 20:36:15

I hope it makes your school see her from a different point of view.
It's sad that you mum has been left feeling so upset, i bet you feel upset that you couldn't be there too?!
I have some e-mail addresses for you from my cousin-in law, hope i can put them in ok!
Well hope they work, and are useful, she says she found they helped.
Good luck

TrinaJ Wed 06-Jul-05 20:39:18


TrinaJ Wed 06-Jul-05 20:41:53

I'm sorry, the links don't seem to be working, but I've checked the addresses and they're ok. Sorry I'm not great at this computer lark!!

butty Thu 07-Jul-05 09:56:36

Cheers for these links, i shall have a glance over them. If any one else has any advise on this issue, then please could you advise me? thanks.

Vornsta Fri 08-Jul-05 00:56:06

I would suggest phoning the child psych clinic emphasising the problems and how desperate you feel. This should increase the urgency of your referral and get you seen quicker. Sometimes repeated phone calls are necessary to emphasise your concerns. If the clinic cannot respond it may be worth contacting the health trust's patient liaison service or if they don't have one going to senior managers eg chief exec. I also think it is worth bringing your MP's attention to the fact that young children have to wait so long to be seen in your area -it is really appalling! The government is starting to address children's health issues with the NSF for children - there is a website about this at{}

butty Fri 15-Jul-05 13:19:31

I ate my own words and now have spat them back out!!! Other thread stated finally, doctor had confirmed ADHD!! But now had a letter stating that she has to go for assesments at the local ADHD clinic of which appointment arranged for wednesday but they have cancelled it. I have just rung them up to clarify the DX of the doc, but they stated that was only his findings and that a full DX could take up to at least 6 months of in which case, what bloody help and support will i get with her if nothing is set in stone or at least not for sometime. Please could some body advise of any good tactics or vitamins or something to help relieve the day to day struggle???!!!!!!

butty Fri 15-Jul-05 13:22:28

bump. please please!!

butty Fri 15-Jul-05 13:38:23

Really depressed and angry just NEED some ADVISE. Please! those of you who have been there or in similar situ?

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