Trike-obsessed 19 mo(9 Posts)
New to mumsnet, but as the advice in these pages is generally pretty commonsensible, i just wondered what youdve done with my DS this evening!
Great day visiting friends- on the trike of course, when hit upon idea of stopping off at swing park on way home. Fab idea so far, No problem getting him to leave park either as the trike worked its magic once more. What I wasn't banking on, however, was this:
5:10 arrive home, shunt trike over garden fence (remove Sosij first, obviously)
5:11 Sos howling like a banshee due to demise of trike-ride
5:15 wash hands, offer drink (emphatically refused) (still howling)
5:20 Begin to cook dinner (still howling)
530 Still cooking (still howling)
535 Plonk sos on trike in back garden. Continue to cook. (Still howling as not being pushed.)
540 Push sos on trike round garden (momentary lapse in howling )
5:41 burn dinner
5:45 cook dinner again. Howling resumes.
5:55 Plonk sos in high chair (Howling) serve dinner.
5:56 eat dinner (me, sos still howling)
6:00 DH phones, he's working away at the mo.
6:10 Still talking to DH. Sos still howling.
6:15, on advice of DH, plonk sos in bath, no dinner, still howling.
6:16 Try the mumsnetters' patent "water" trick. Still howling.
6:25 Wrestle him into pyjamas (that vest had no chance), bung a dressing gown on him and shoehorn hom into his buggy.(STILL howling!)
6:30 Get out of here. Ignore the howls (and the stares)
6:45 Return a now calm sosij to his cot and PUT THE DARN TRIKE AWAY!!
Im pretty sure it happened just cos he was over-tired and twisty, but tell me, is 100 mins crying over a bike NORMAL ????
Sounds to me like he's racing towards the terrible twos...... .........You have my sympathy
He sounds as if he was tired and hungry which always makes this sort of thing worse. My ds is very easy going (almost too much so, actually) but he gets upset when he has to finish an activity he likes too. I usually try to distract him - often by turning him upside down which he likes or putting his favourite video on or by giving him chocolate milk which I don't do often but is a miracle mood lifter. I also always talk to him and say that I understand why he is upset, that I know he wanted to stay on the swing and that it's a shame we have to go home when he would much rather be on the swing (or whatever) and that we'll go back soon for more lovely swinging. Even though he's only 20 months he seems to understand and be reassured that I understand why he's upset and that I can see his point. Otherwise I think he thinks I'm stupid, and if only he could make me understand that,say, he wants to get back on the swing, I'd let him do it. Once he knows that I understand why he's crying and can sympathise a bit but can't let the activity continue, it seems to help. This may be completely useless advice for your particular child but you never know!!
Oh, and I also try to give lots of warning that favoured activity is about to end. Eg, when we get to the house we have to go in for our tea and I'll have to put the bike away. I suppose I try to make him think he has some say in it, even though he hasn't really.
Thanks aloha, thats a good point about explaining things. I was so detemined not to tell him off (but wishing he was a year or so older so I could) that I just kept smiling sweetly and offering things I knew he didnt want (as much as being wheeled around on his trike until he fell asleep...)like juice and beans and noodles. He must have thought I was VERY dim! Crash hat came in handy tho with all that thrashing about!
Isn't it wonderful what a drink of chocolate milk can achieve?
When my youngest son was this age I used to give lots of warning too. And when it was time to leave an activity, I'd get him to say goodbye or wave to the thing he was leaving. That really helped him let go of something.
And I ended my talking on an up note, as in 'yes we have to stop now but we will do it again soon' If the crying continued ( as it usually did) I kept repeating how nice it would be to do this again soon, building up a little story about it, reassuring again and again. So a bit like aloha's way of talking, though I came upon this method from a different direction.
My son could cry buckets for ages and ages over something if he was tired and hungry. So IME if it's only a now and again thing, do't worry about 100 minutes of crying as being seriously OTT.
Remember you can also embroider the truth at that age if you have few scrupels, like me. Announcing the toy has run out of batteries ( even if it doesn't use them) is a good one.
A change of scene works as well - as you know because you plonked your ds in the buggy.
Really as codswallop so neatly says, food and distraction techniques are the answer. You just need to find exactly which ones work with your ds
Sos is a lovely nickname - it doesn't stand for Seriously Obstinate Son, does it?
I agree completely with Tigermoth about the saying goodbye. It also seems to help my ds - I say, we have to go now. I know you'd like to stay and have fun here, but we have to go home. Say bye-bye park, and he does!! And he does it heartbreakingly sadly too.
Also, it seems very important to ds that he is understood. Not being understood makes him upset.
I tell my ds that his bike/trike/car is tired and needs to go to sleep now, so we have to put it back in the garage for it to have a rest. So far he doesn't seem to have worked out that toys don't actually need to sleep!
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