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14 month old hitting her daddy

(12 Posts)
ineedalifelaundry Mon 09-Nov-09 16:25:27

My poor DH is fed up about our DD hitting him in the face and he isn't sure what to do about it. She only seems to do it to him (not me, or at least very rarely to me).

For example, today she was sitting on my knee not long after waking from a nap and he came over and asked her for a kiss, but when he put his face close she turned hers away and hit him. He ignored the behaviour and retreated to the other side of the room. I said that was probably the best response, ie ignoring unwanted behaviours. But he was less sure because he said she had got what she wanted - him to go away - therefore she will do it again.

How should we respond to her hitting him? She's too young to understand what she's doing isn't she? Maybe I should have put her down so she got no attention at all after hitting him?

Would really appreciate your tips, ideas and thoughts because it's making him feel sad

MmeLindt Mon 09-Nov-09 16:29:41

A 14 month old is really capable of understanding that if she hits daddy that he will be upset.

I would just put her down off your/his knee and say 'No'.

Don't punish or ignore, she does not have the understanding yet. And he should not take it to heart, it does not mean she does not love him, it is just a game to her.

mrsboogie Mon 09-Nov-09 21:51:47

My 14 month d does this to both of us - its just a game they have no concept of it hurting you. Maybe she is just batting him off because she want you all to herself? It will just a be a phase.

merrymonsters Mon 09-Nov-09 21:55:55

Yes, she is too young to understand. She may not even really be hitting. She could just be touching or pushing him.

All you can do really is to move her and say 'no'.

nellie12 Mon 09-Nov-09 21:57:01

I've heard (somewhere) that patting is a sign of affection. but they have no concept of force at this age as you've noticed.

Ds3 gets told no and put down. Just waiting for it to sink in some time.

LynetteScavo Mon 09-Nov-09 21:59:16

Maybe she didn't want his face in her face.

I would have probably reacted in the same way as your DD, TBH.

ineedalifelaundry Tue 10-Nov-09 00:11:36

Thanks everyone. Glad to hear we are probably reacting in the right way (ie not reacting!) I think we will try putting her down and simply saying no every time she does it. We have been doing this with her habit of grabbing specs off our faces and I think it's started to have an effect- she's not doing this nearly as often.

Unfortunately I had the bad grace to actually laugh when she hit him today, which is probably what upset my DH more than her behaviour, because she's a real mummy's girl anyway. The last thing I want is for him to feel excluded so I really need to be more supportive in future blush

dittany Tue 10-Nov-09 00:19:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ineedalifelaundry Tue 10-Nov-09 00:25:09

LynetteScavo DD doesn't usually object to her daddy's face being close to hers, in fact normally when he asks her for a kiss she dives in there making a cute 'mwah' sound. I can see why you might react that way to the same thing but of course my DH isn't your daddy, so I'm not too sure what point you were trying to make.

MrsGravy Tue 10-Nov-09 06:19:03

I think what they're saying is, if she'd just woken up and was possibly feeling a bit grumpy (mine always are after a nap!) then maybe she just wanted to be left alone. Anyway, I'd deal with it in exactly the same way as you and try and under react. Otherwise it turns into a game as babies this age LOVE a big reaction!

Besom Tue 10-Nov-09 07:02:05

She doesn't want him to go away. She's just testing boundaries and looking for a reaction. Dd did this to me (not dh) for a few weeks, usually when tired. She is very attached to me so it's nothing to do with her feelings towards me/your dd's feelings towards dh. I just kept telling her no and trying to remember to praise when she was being nice and gentle.

TheApprentice Tue 10-Nov-09 07:20:09

Agree with Besom, this has nothing to do with not wanting your dh there. My ds2 (15 months) has started hitting me when he's having cuddles etc - its all just part of a game to him (he smiles and makes gurgling noises when he does it!), he doesnt understand it is annoying or hurts.I think actually its a sign of affection from him! I just say "Don't hit Mummy" in a firm voice and if necessary move his hands and we just carry on. Its not a big deal.

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