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Overcome timidity

(4 Posts)
Angel123 Mon 09-Nov-09 10:50:00

My dd 3.5 lets other kids take her toys away and obeys them while playing. Any advice to help her overcome timidity?

kcartyparty Mon 09-Nov-09 22:58:40

My Ds2 did this too, and still does a little. he is now 10yrs. Myf Ds1 was never like this & stood up for what he wanted.

Both were brought up in the same way. It is just who he is!

He has learnt to be a little head stronger than before. But it really is choice!! If he is not bothered, he just lets the situation pass him by, as he would rather not cause a 'situation'. It is not him at fault if another child picks on him or is mean to him. He has learnt to find help from myself, teachers or big bro!

Your DD is still very young she will decide for herself as she gets older as to what she wants.

If you are looking for a confidence boost try a drams class

Good luck

Flowertop Tue 10-Nov-09 14:37:03

DS1 (11) same here. I remember when he was 18 months and other toddlers just taking his things and he just standing there looking confused. Or even when other toddlers were around he would leave the situation and come and sit on my knee. He is also the same (althought tends not to sit on my knee grin
anymore). I have worried about it as he does let other children have their way but as KCP said -'it's just how he is'. I have found nothing I have tried to do helpful and believe me we have tried the lot. I think it's just supporting and encouraging them as much as you can. XX

rabbitstew Wed 11-Nov-09 10:15:37

My ds1 (5) is the same, too, or worse - he never suggests games to his friends, just does what they want to do, even if he doesn't even like the chosen activity. It does make me feel a bit sad sometimes, as he plays and leads such lovely games with his little brother at home, but has absolutely no confidence that other children will like or respect his ideas and would rather be unhappy playing something that everyone else enjoys than risk being the one who upsets everyone else. I made the mistake in the past of focusing on this and trying to persuade him to have a bit more input, but have realised that the more I focused on it, the more of an insurmountable obstacle it became for my ds1 to do anything about it, because I had invested it with so much importance, making him even more scared of somehow "failing" at it. I think the only thing I do have any power over is finding ways of boosting his self esteem generally in the hope that this will one day lead to him feeling he can have his say a bit more with his friends, rather than lowering his self esteem still further by pointing out what I perceive to be a weakness. It's so hard not to try and step in to fix it all for him, though! And on the positive side, he is actually happy most of the time doing what he's told by his friends!

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