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Lying, stealing, hurting siblings, and more...help!

(6 Posts)
Sshhbear Mon 09-Nov-09 07:10:39

I am at my wits end. My 10 yr old was adorable up until the age of 3 then it all came crashing down (gradually). He was the perfect child but then he started displaying constant attention seeking behaviour. Unfortunately for my DH, this coincided with us meeting though had already started to show it's ugly head before we were too involved.

We have tried so many things. Reward schemes, discipline, taking things away, grounding, naughty chair, missing out on things...the list goes on.

He's been to a psychologist, paediatric specialists, had brain scans, tried medication but nothing seems to work for any period of time.

Lately it's been escalating. While in trouble yesterday for punching his 4 yr old brother, I went into his room and found him burning things with a lighter he'd found. Then, after a big talk and further discipline (not physical), this morning he stole $15 from my wallet and lied about it right up until me finding the money in his school bag. When I asked him to explain, he said he'd had his fingers crossed so he didn't really lie. OMG! This is becoming the norm for him. He seems to only want money to buy lollies and is constantly sneaking into the cupboard to eat the hot choc or anything else sweet he can get his hands on.

Of course, the last paragraph is only the icing on the cake. He's argumentative, has low self esteem, tells everyone his step-father bashes him (really not true) and it just never seems to stop. I want to send him away to boarding school because I just don't know what to do with him but I can't afford $30k a year.

Anyone got any ideas how I can clean up this kid's act?

I should also mention that I recently left my DH for mostly unrelated reasons and I had hoped my son would start to improve now that he has to be the man of the house but nothing has changed at all.

Kadiya Mon 09-Nov-09 09:32:20

I don't have any advice for you hun, but wanted to send a (((hug))) your way!

Sshhbear Mon 09-Nov-09 11:49:43

Thanks for the hug. I needed that. I would still love some advice if anyone has any.

bethjeff Mon 09-Nov-09 17:43:08

Might sound a bit out of the blue but has he got any learning difficulties at all or is it all just behavioural?

Does he behave at school and act up at home or is he the same everywhere?

Is there anyone he seems to respect?

Sshhbear Tue 10-Nov-09 11:04:35

Hi bethjeff
He's troublesome everywhere he goes. He has a good heart, very friendly and social but he's really over the top with everything.

The specialists say he displays symptoms of adhd but when fully investigated (at a specialist clinic), nothing really showed up. He's smart but falling behind at school because he lacks concentration and impulse control. He struggles with keeping friends.

We've tried advancing him to higher levels in education, responsibility etc in case he's suffering from 'really smart and bored' syndrome but that hasn't had any effect either.

His father was apparently exactly the same and in the 9 years we were together, I saw similar behaviour in him as an adult.

I'm at a loss.

ByTheSkinOfMyTeeth Wed 29-Jul-15 12:24:53

Bear, I have pretty much identical problems with my 12 year old son, and completely understand your despair, as it mirrors the same wretched feeling that I have. I just wondered if you ever managed to find anything that helped this situation and if so if you would care to share?

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