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Please please give me some advice......

(8 Posts)
ypalmer1 Fri 06-Nov-09 09:58:31

Hi there, not sure if I am being silly, but my daughter is 15 months and my MIL stays with us twice a month and my daughter when she arrives completely ignores me and goes to her over me, is this normal. I am a full time mother so think she is a novelty and obviously being her gran they will be close, which is good, but I find it quite hard emotionally. How do I deal with this, is it normal for babies to do this?
I don't want to lose my child to want to be with my MIL over me.......

paranormalghostygoat Fri 06-Nov-09 10:52:43

I would say it's because she has you all the time and other people are a novelty.

My DH and I say this about him because he doesn't get to see much of the DC's during the week because of work they won't leave him alone at the weekend and leave me totally alone.

Just get use to it and make the most of the time you get to yourself from it. She won't always do this, the more fuss you make the more she'll do it.

paranormalghostygoat Fri 06-Nov-09 10:56:56

sorry just realised the 'just get use to it' is a bit harsh sounding.

Try having a few things ready to do whilst MIL is with you so that it takes your mind off it.

HumphreyCobbler Fri 06-Nov-09 11:07:49

She still loves you best, don't worry. This is entirely normal behaviour. It is just that your MIL is a novelty and therefore exciting. I wouldn't put yourself in a situation where you feel that she has 'chosen' MIL over you, just accept that when MIL comes you will be able to get on with other stuff.

sandcastles Fri 06-Nov-09 11:08:39

It's lovely that your dd loves your MIL & you should use this to your advantage!

Maybe arrange a hair appointment, or a lunch with friends & leave dd & MIL to their own devices? Have some 'me' time.

You are still her #1 & always will be, she pushes you away because she knows that you will always be there for her, when MIL has gone.

She will never want MIL over you, don't fret!

My dd (6) loves it when my SIL flies in from Sydney for a week! She becomes her aunt's shadow & because she (Aunty K) doesn't have to do it 24/7 - 365, Aunty K does exactly as she is told by dd & they both love it!

Ideal time for me to get some 'me' time in!

ypalmer1 Fri 06-Nov-09 11:36:23

Thanks for your comments, its very hard and although I do try and keep busy, I still cannot help feel a little lost sometimes, I am sure it will get easier,, and once she starts seeing other children more, it will probably be easier. She does tend to play up a little as well when MIL is here, which is a pain, but I think that is also excitement.

ki28 Fri 06-Nov-09 11:54:07

hi, please take my advice and enjoy the time you have to yourself while MIL is there. Can you leave her with her?
take your self off shopping or swimming maybe?
~Or even to the pub with a trashy mag for a glass of wine and switch off.
i was straight back to work with my first child but with my second we have decided that i would stay off and as much as im enjoying the chance to be at hom it can become obessive reguarding hkids and the routine. ENJOY IT and try not become anxious bout it (as i have done in past).cause thay dont stay bouncing happy go little toddlers for ever and granny wont allways want to stay.

so take advantage of this now and i hope like me you find that a bit of time away from your dc and vice versa will give you and much needed confidence boost.

Good luck

sandcastles Fri 06-Nov-09 12:41:35

At some point you will be grateful for this great bond they have. Whether it be next time you are pregnant, or when you have something that you cannot cancel.

Your MIL will be invaluable then & your dd will already have a wonderful bond & will be happy to stay with her.

It is a positive, please enjoy. It doesn't mean she doesn't love you & she isn't doing it on purpose...she doesn't know how too!

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