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Just come and reassure me that my 13mo DS is normal and I am not doing everything wrong...

(5 Posts)
BertieBotts Thu 05-Nov-09 21:58:57

I think I am feeling a bit needlessly stressed. I am sure this is probably just toddlerhood beginning (DS 13 months) but I have no point of reference, so is the following normal/ok?

I know he understands the word "gentle" with regard to touching the cat, (or he seemed to) however recently his reaction to being told "gently" is to start hitting the cat/me/other child. Whenever he sees the cat he gets wildly overexcited and HAS TO grab his tail. If he is prevented from doing this he cries and does the board/back arching thing almost like a mini tantrum. If he is allowed anywhere near the cat he grabs chunks of fur and flesh or his face and will lean on him putting his whole weight on him. He used to be much more gentle and would either stroke him or poke at his ears/whiskers, which I tried to discourage. The cat is quite placid and didn't mind this but now DS is so rough I have to keep them separated.

Anything he is not allowed to touch (something out of reach etc) he will reach for and cry and do the tantrum thing as well. He becomes obsessed with the forbidden thing and will not be distracted easily. He is especially obsessed with my laptop and will not play by himself if I am on it. We do our shopping and banking online and I buy a lot of his clothes etc from ebay so I quite often need to go on the computer. And of course MN wink.

He fights sleep and is difficult to put to bed in the evenings. Nothing seems to calm him down (he has been like this since birth) - any "calming" activity, bath, books, breastfeeding, lullabies, cuddling up together, being rocked in his pushchair - none of them work consistently and I can't get a "bedtime routine" going because none of the "calming" activities calm him down. He sometimes is still up by the time we go to bed and he will climb and crawl over us giggling madly and then just suddenly crawl into his cot or ask to nurse and go to sleep. (It's quite cute really) - I don't mind this but he is obviously tired in the evenings so I am constantly picking him up when he has fallen over and trying to calm him down - tonight I got him to sleep by breastfeeding him in a rocking chair until he fell asleep and then carrying him up to his cot. I am happy to do this if he needs it but it doesn't seem to work unless he is very tired. I don't want to do any form of sleep training involving leaving to cry. I understand the arguments for it, it's just not for me.

Oh and he still wants to breastfeed quite a lot in the daytime and I feel selfconscious about doing it when we are with friends etc. I don't want to stop though, maybe this is more of an issue with me than him.

Sorry for the long post. Hope this isn't too much of a moan

teatank Thu 05-Nov-09 22:09:05

its sounds like you have my baby there. just been to check hes still there. i havent any advice really just know exactly what you mean about the laptop thing and forbidden things. they do grow out of it. its just frustrating when your telling them no and they laugh in your face.

allaboutme Thu 05-Nov-09 22:10:52

It sounds quite normal to me! smile

The bit about 'gentle' and hitting the cat did make me smile though. It reminded me of DS2 and his habit of shouting 'NO' whenever he threw things at that age.
I said 'no' to him when he threw things so he made the assumption that when you throw things you say 'no' at the same time.
Sounds like your DS thinks 'gentle' means 'bash the cat' grin

titferbrains Fri 06-Nov-09 20:16:01

Someone told me about demonstrating gentle using a doll and making it cry or saying it's sad if you hurt it.

My personal tactic is to touch my dd's face gently in the same spot where she is hitting/bashing me. It used to be the morning and I think she was just experimenting, but having her eyelid or nose touched unexpectedly usually makes her leave me alone. I always accompany it with "we touch gently".

SaucyMoo Sun 08-Nov-09 22:41:22

that also sounds like my dd! shes 16 months and really unruly, you cant leave her for a second without her destroying, breaking, spilling, tearing something. She doesnt understand no either and when i tell her off she sometimes retaliates and hits or scratches. This is so the opposite of my son who is now 3, he is the most gentle boy. Anyway im not sure about advice but youre def not alone-she also fights her sleep and ends up having one very late nap in the day and then is up til 10pm. Sooo frustrating! good luck and keep me updated on your ds.

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