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My 21 month old has serious attitude

(4 Posts)
Awhowcutewhentheysleep Thu 05-Nov-09 17:52:21

Help!!! BeforeI go totally mad.

My DD is absolutely awful, her dad and I split 8 months ago and she doesn't see him much. (4 timessince split) and when she does she's 4 times as bad when she comes home.

She screams when she wants something,screams when she doesn't want something, screams, hits and bites her older sister and then lashes out at me. I've tried talking to her quietly to try calmthe situation.I've tried the naughty chair but we have screams for hours after that aswell as during. I've tried cutting out all additives etc but that makes no difference.

I know alot of it is because her vocabulary is so limited still (just hello, bye,juice, see you soon, high five and mumma,poo,wee wee,bed and door)and she gets upset when you can't understand her.

I've started to introduce her to friends children (her dad didn't like her or I having anyone around us and I was banned from seeing my family as were DD's, he even used to try keep my daughter away from ours,even though they're sisters).

I don't know where to start. I thought about a sticker chart or reward system but how do I introduce that to her and will it work yet.

She sleeps badly too. My ex wouldn't help in anyway, sleepnappies feeding anything. IKt was all my responsibility but had to be done the way he wanted even though I'd done it before with eldest and she is a lovely happy relatively well behaved little girl.

What do I do?

RollCorpseIntoHedge Thu 05-Nov-09 18:00:20

I have a 20 month old who is similar. He screams when he wants something, when he is angry, when he is happy - in fact 50% of the time. From what I can recall from my older to it is a phase and it will get better - promise!

She is far too young for the naughty step and reward charts. There is no way she will understand. My advice is be consistent in saying 'no' calmly and moving her away and lots of completly ignoring the tantrums - it is hard but it works. My DD who is now 4 and a delight (mostly) was the queen of tantrums and ignoring them was the only thing that worked.

It is a hard phase!

RollCorpseIntoHedge Thu 05-Nov-09 18:01:14

Sorry for typos!

Awhowcutewhentheysleep Thu 05-Nov-09 18:08:55

I'm typo queen so no worries.

My health visitor told me to do all I've said and I thought she was too young, especially as they made her worse. But health visitor at mo is typical no children of own and reading out of a book so I thought I'd ask other mummy's as I thi nk we know more than the socalled professionals.

Thankyou. Will have to toughen up and stop being such a pansy I think, unlessanyone has a magic spell to make her behave.
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