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No that's not your mummy, it's MY mummy!

(8 Posts)
DianaDavrosandthesupremedaleks Tue 03-Nov-09 21:04:24

My DD is 2.4 and has always been really possessive of me. I know this is normal but she is becoming embarrassingly so.

If I talk to, look at or even go near another child, she storms up to the child and shouts "NO that's not your mummy, it's my mummy!" in a really loud agressive manner. She even has little veins bulging on her forehead like a mini Incredible Hulk grin She genuinely looks upset though.

She does this even to little babies who just happen to be sat close to me (at playgroup for instance) and it often makes them cry blush.

She's also like this with belongings. I KNOW toddlers don't like sharing, but she's so much more aggressive and loud about it than her little friends, although she never hits out or is physically aggressive.

It's embarrassing blush

What makes it worse is DD is tall for her age and I'm always told she looks quite a bit older than 2.4, so other parents who don't know her may assume she should know better

How do I handle this behaviour?

I tell her it's not nice to shout out other children, but she usually can't hear me over her own shouting blush She also gets very upset because she knows I'm telling her off.

samsonthecat Tue 03-Nov-09 21:06:53

My DD2 does this as well, even to her big sister. I have to keep reminding her that I belong to both of them.

kcartyparty Tue 03-Nov-09 21:11:52

My Ds1 was like it when he was little. He didn't so much shout, but just refused to allow me to talk to anyone.

He would constantly stand between us, push the other person out of the way etc.

Just agree with her. Tell her Yes you are her mummy, but you also have friends and that includes grown ups and little children.

What do you do when she yells at the other children. Do you take her outside and have a quiet chat with her?

TBMOM Tue 03-Nov-09 21:14:11

I would suggest (if you havn't already) you give her plenty of quality time together without other chidlren/babies around and plenty of hugs and reassurance when she is around other children.

She is only litle and doesn't understand and is feeling quite insecure and jealous but it will pass in time. Try and not worry about what other people think and just focus on reassuring your daughter and have plenty of attention for her. You could also just try ignoring it when it happens and doing the above after she has calmed down.

ilovetochat Tue 03-Nov-09 21:15:08

my dd is 2.3 and a little possessive, i tend to say to her shall we have a look at the baby and make it more about her meeting the baby or her and the other child rather than me and it seems to work.

cookielove Tue 03-Nov-09 21:18:02

i did this as a child but mainly to my older siblings, i grew out of it though. I do look after a little girl who when she is in a funny mood will scream at the children 'don't look at my mummy, she is my mummy, DON'T LOOK AT HER'

Her mum just ignores her, and usual laughs it off, I think what kcartyparty suggested seems like a good way of getting round it

DianaDavrosandthesupremedaleks Tue 03-Nov-09 21:23:36

Thanks for your replies.

Samson - yes my DD does it to the cat and DH too. Tis most funny when she shouts "THAT'S NOT YOUR MUMMY" at DH grin

Kcarty - I usually just pull her to one side and tell her it's not nice to shout at other children, and then she gets upset and cries. This approach hasn't had any effect yet though!

I have had chats with her about how I am her mummy and I love her, but I also love DH and the cat and I have friends too. But she tends to argue back "NO MUMMY NOT DADDY, YOU LOVE ME" and so on....

DianaDavrosandthesupremedaleks Tue 03-Nov-09 21:32:23

BTW she is an only child (god knows what will happen if I have another), so has loads of time with just me. She also has time with other children when I'm not there, as she goes to nursery 2.5 days a week. She is lovely in these situations.

The problems arise when she has to share me with other people / animals. Or if another child dares to sit too close to me. Or look at me grin

And I haven't been able to hold any cute little newborns / babies for about a year for fear of her response

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