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16 month old throwing cutlery/plate at the dinner table table - any advice?

(11 Posts)
bitofadramaqueen Thu 29-Oct-09 15:57:51

My 16 month old has started demonstrating his new found throwing skills by throwing his spoon, plate or whatever else he can reach, with as much force as he can muster, across the dining table.

Part of me thinks I should just ignore it and he'll grow out of it, but he really does throw things with considerable force (well, as much as a 16 month old can) and I'm worried that he could hurt me someone! An almighty tantrum ensues if we don't give him the items back (to throw again) or if he gets a firm 'no' and we remove the items from the table.

I really don't want to turn mealtimes into a really stressful affair so would appreciate any tips. He's generally a good eater, but in the past has indicated that he's finished eating by dropping his cup/spoon/plate on the floor (which we just usually ignore).

Essie3 Thu 29-Oct-09 16:15:50

Watching this with interest...we have a thrower here, and he also likes to pour from his TT cup.

bitofadramaqueen Thu 29-Oct-09 16:17:49

Oh yes, we have the water pouring too. I keep ending up with wet socks.

Stigaloid Thu 29-Oct-09 16:21:34

Take the food away. If they are playing they are not hungry.

If our son throws his fork i remove the plate from his reach. I tell him he either eats with the fork or has finished his food. If he is still hungry he will carry on eating. If he throws the fork again he gets down from the table.

Cluckyagain Thu 29-Oct-09 16:23:18

Agre with stigaloid - at 16m they understand everything you say....give the warning, follow through, ignore the tantrum if it happens.

systemsaddict Thu 29-Oct-09 16:27:15

Yep, you're just going to have to live with the tantrums BDQ! We have lots of this with our 16 mo. old. She now pours her drink out onto the table and says 'no, no, no' while she does it grin. So the drink gets taken away, and she screams.

I reckon they are now old enough to start having consequences for doing things you don't want them to do; just immediate ones, like having their plaything removed, then distraction from the tantrum, but otherwise they won't learn what's not OK. Throwing is an intrinsically rewarding activity, so I can't see him growing out of it without some guidance!

Adair Thu 29-Oct-09 16:29:08

don't make a big deal of it, indicate 'no throwing'
but also
don't forget to tell them what you WANT them to do!

eg my same age ds gives me the plate when he is done (then throws a strop cos we won't give him the plate I am still eating from to give back to me hmm).

and like stigaloid says, 'no stabbing the table. EAT with your fork' demonstrate. Good boy (enthusiastic tone).

Adair Thu 29-Oct-09 16:30:09

oops, and take things away of course if they continue ! (which they will. even our VEry WEll Behaved 3 yr old does stupid things at the dinner table often sometimes)

bitofadramaqueen Thu 29-Oct-09 18:01:57

Thanks everyone. I think we're generally on the right track. Any good ideas for distractions when the inevitable tantrums start that involve keeping him at the table? I'm thinking of stashing a favourite book or toy out of sight.

Adair Thu 29-Oct-09 18:31:59

- clapping
- hand over mouth noises (not sure how to describe?! wa-wa-wa)

or my favourite, a v quick, loud and enthusiastic 'Wow, LOOK!!!!!' (while you frantically think of anything - can be a pea,the light, a plane outside) the trick is in the tone of voice grin

IMoveTheStarsForNoOne Fri 30-Oct-09 09:29:44

"You can only have this back if you DON'T throw it, OK?"

"Yes Mummy"

I hand back the spoon, it gets launched across the kitchen. Dinner goes in bin.

Took about 3 days, he got the idea.

(was utterly sick of him messing around with dinner)

he's 2 btw.

I do wait for him to ask for dinner though, so i know he's hungry.

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