DS (3.5) turns into the Tasmanian Devil when i feed DD (3 weeks old)

[rubyslippers]

DD is 3 weeks old and feeds a lot

DS usually decides this is a good time to generally play up, hit or lash out at me and be difficult

i am not sure how best to deal with it

DS has been an only for the best part of 3.5 years so i know this is a huge period of re-adjustment but i feel ill equipped to deal with it

any words of wisdom/advice would be appreciated so i can stop being such a shouty mum

TIA

[rubyslippers]

bump

[pania]

Ds1 is 3.5 years older than ds2 and was a bit the same. He's much better now (ds2 is 19w).
Have you tried reading to your ds while you feed the baby?

[Jamieandhismagictorch]

DS1 was like this as well (he was 2.5 when DS2 was born) - crawling all over me - hitting the baby, sometimes headbutting .

Intellectually I understood it, but found it hard to deal with emotionally. I'd suggest :

Try and give DS as much attention as possible while you are feeding - read a book, watch a DVD together.

Be firm but don't over-react/raise your voice. Bored policeman was the advice I was given, not shrieky.

Try not to think badly of DS - he will grow out of it and it is completely normal for him to feel angry, resentful, confused. Some DCs don't react in the way he is, but that doesn't mean they don't feel it (some have disturbed sleep etc rather than acting out). Try and have special time with him.

Try not to worry that things won't get better. They will ! Try (very hard) to disengage emotionally and see it as a problem-solving exercise rather than a sibling issue.

[puffylovett]

A friend suggested a special box of toys that only ever comes out of the cupboard when breastfeeding baby. We haven't done it, as not needed to - but it worked for her.

You have my sympathies though - DS1 kicks off at bedtime since the arrival of 3 wk old DS2 !

[Rosebud05]

Agree with pps that it will get better, but it is tough. My dd wasn't great at being 'distracted', though it sometimes worked. I tried to feed the little one somewhere where I could quickly stand up and whisk him away, rather than slouched on the sofa to avoid the endless "gentlys".

[rubyslippers]

thanks for the tips and advice

will give them a whirl

[spanna74]

we reserve tv for certain feeding times also manage to position them both so could feed DD2 (now 16 wks) and have DD1 (2.5 yrs) on my lap and she can then look at a book or something. also will let DD1 play with my hair (she loves brushing it and playing hairdressers) when feeding DD2.