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8mths old ds waking up for long periods at night - won't settle again

(6 Posts)
happynappies Mon 26-Oct-09 10:49:27

Any ideas? I don't know whether this should be in behaviour/development or if it is a feeding issue. He's bf, and has reflux, and am fairly used to him waking every 3-4 hours during the night. He's doing BLW so I wasn't sure about phasing out night feeds while he's experimenting with food rather than eating big quantities, and with the added issue of the reflux... not sure.

Its only the last week and a half where he has taken to waking at about 1am, and he feeds for 10 minutes, then is wide awake (despite dimmed lights, no interaction etc) and wanted to jump about. I've tried putting him back in his cot, but he just cries and screams, occasionally doses for about an hour, but generally it will be a good 2 and a half hours before he goes back to sleep again. Oh - then he wakes at around 5am for the day.

I've looked up as much as I can on the internet, and have found out that he may be (a) overtired or (b) not tired enough. He does nap a couple of times in the day, but not for particularly long periods (he's a light sleeper and 2 year old dd tends to wake him one way or another). He goes down to sleep at around 7pm, and I haven't yet tried keeping him awake for longer because frankly I'm so exhausted the prospect of him being up for even longer is frightening to contemplate.

Feel like I'm only getting about 3 hours of sleep a night - dd gets woken by ds, and it just goes round and round in a vicious circle. Can't have him in bed with us as he can't feed lying down due to reflux, and spend all day covered in sick, would rather not spend all night too!

Anyone got any experience with this? Any ideas to try? Thank you!

bigbumhel Mon 26-Oct-09 12:05:11

Yep I had exactly the same with my first and like an idiot sat up for 3 hours a night with her until she was ready to go back to bed and then only for her to get up 2 hours later!! I had a word with my HV who said that she was 'playing with me' and that we should do control crying and not let her realise she is not in control. The first night she screamed and cried for an hour and 40 mins (hard but we stuck at it) and the next night it was for 40mins and then 15 mins and then she slept through with no interuptions. My 2nd daughter was very similar but with her it was about reasurance that we were still there in the night, so I used to take her up to bed give her a bottle and then read her stories until she fell to sleep, if she came out of her bed i used to shout 'go back to bed' in a really firm tone and it did the trick. she is 3yrs now and occasionally she still opens her door to check if we are there but then gets back into bed and off to sleep. You have to remember you are incharge and not let them 'play you' because even at that age they can!! Good luck xx

letsblowthistacostand Mon 26-Oct-09 18:31:29

DD2 15mos does this occasionally and has done since she was a newborn. It is soul-destroying. The only thing I've found is to wait it out, with DD2 it's never more than a few nights and then she needs a lot of napping!

The other night there was construction going on until 1am AND DD1 was up with a bad cough. In all the commotion DD2 woke up and realized DD1 was in bed with me & DH and decided it was time to par-tay. For THREE HOURS she rolled around the bed, going through her repretoire: elephant, clapping, cat, cow, then trying to crawl over me to get to DD1 and yelling ZA-ZA! (her name for DD1) We put her in her bed but she just screamed and screamed. We were all like zombies the next day, except for DD1, who slept through the whole thing after her cough was sorted.

tasmaniandevilchaser Mon 26-Oct-09 18:41:38

hello! you're not alone, dd is nearly 8 mths and is doing the same. She is teething at the mo, and has had a cold. I wonder if her teeth are bothering her a little bit, but not enough to be really upset.... But bigbumhel you're probably right, my dh is of the same opinion as you. He wants to do controlled crying, happynappies let me know what you do!

happynappies Mon 26-Oct-09 19:19:57

Glad to hear I'm not alone... We tried a version of controlled crying with dd when she was 9 months old, so might be persuaded to try it again with ds. It seemed to go on forever though! Dh would go in to break the feed/sleep cycle, and sit in the room with her shushing and patting then gradually retreat... I'm not sure how effective it was as it took months (literally!) to have any effect. I'm worried about just leaving ds as I'm never sure if he could be in pain - but something needs to change around here because I do feel like a zombie. I don't think he's teething at the moment - he's got five teeth already, and can't see anything else coming through, but it could be that. Everything seems worse somehow when you're not getting any sleep!!

tasmaniandevilchaser Mon 26-Oct-09 20:49:45

omg, months!! you have the patience of a saint. Know the lack of sleep is a killer, people say 'oh you can't die of tiredness', they haven't seen me try to cross a road!

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