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Any ideas for improving emotional and social maturity?

(6 Posts)
HairyMaclary Sun 25-Oct-09 18:47:02

DS is 4.10 and started reception this year. All is going very well and his confidence and self esteem has improved massively. He loves school etc. However I and school have noticed that emotionally, and to a lesser degree socially, he is very immature.

He has major tantrums daily and finds it very hard to express himself about his feelings, I have only ever heard him say once 'I am angry'. I would say that his is his major issue but there are many other little ones such as reacting too fast to normal childhood things like taking toys away, but conversely not reacting when anyone says something 'demeaning'. For example he would never say, No I'm not, if someone called him a baby - he would just look blank!

To a certain extent a lot of this is normal (and I'm not expressing it very well!) but I'm wondering if anyone has any ideas for any ways to support him in developing emotional maturity. He really needs to learn to express himself without tantrumming and I'm a bit lost as to how to help him.

Thanks!

LIttleMissTickles Sun 25-Oct-09 19:02:54

Have you tried roll-play? You can sit with teddy bears on the rug and get cross with one of them, he can be the teacher and help you to deal with your anger... etc???

corriefan Sun 25-Oct-09 19:04:40

Has he always done it? It's just I heard somewhere that boys can get a testosterone rush at this age so it could just be him expressing his rush of feeling at that point. As you say it sounds like he's very much living in the present and not thinking about what is happening/how to deal with it. Maybe leave him to have his tantrum then try and encourage him to verbalise what happened after. Or maybe reenact what happened when he's calmed down? There's also the tiredness aspect, especially with the emotional and physical upheaval of starting school.

HairyMaclary Sun 25-Oct-09 19:17:21

I've not tried much roll play, could do more of that I suppose but DS2 is very much in the way when it comes to doing anything with DS1!

corriefan he's always done this but I've put it down to toddler tantrums etc but really there's been no development from there which is why I'm starting to notice it. I wouldn't say I'm worried about it - yet - but I'm getting there!

CybilAviationAuthority Sun 25-Oct-09 19:21:49

IMO it's not until Year 1 that some boys can start to change in terms of their maturity and responses to things.

IIWY I would encourage chats, keep asking questions about his day, how he feels about things, ask his opinions, play games where you win sometimes and help him to see there are other ways of reacting.

Oblomov Mon 26-Oct-09 08:28:50

Our school has emotional development classes. 40 minutes per week.
:how to treat our friends. others personal space, courteousy and respect, manners, listening to others, different voice levels, our emotions and how to express them.
They have little groups and talk about, how that made me feel, and they do role play.
It seems very important for the boys particularly.
Started when ds was in reception and is due to start his yr 1 sessions soon.

I think it is brilliant.

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