ds2 suddenly become a nightmare to put to bed - battle of wills

[lupiloona]

hi...

my ds2 (21 months) has suddenly gone from being the easiest lil guy to put to bed to absolutely refusing to go down in his cot, screaming the house down, wriggling out of my arms and squirming into my bed at bedtime... he goes to sleep happily there without further fuss but i feel i am giving in to him in what appears to be essentially a battle of wills. he is obviously developing a very strong one of his own. I did do the sleep learning thing at 13 months and that worked fine for him although deep down i'm not really into that approach. Hence although there's a part of me that feels i should insist and go back to the crying it out 'techniquge', my overall parenting philosophy stops me from doing so. Perhaps he thinks he's ready for his own bed, not cot. He wants to get into bed with his older brother.

The whole setup was completely different with my older son who co-slept with us until he got his own bed and bedroom aged two and that transition was completely painless and hassle-free. Knowing that my own lack of strategy is making him worse daily is driving me bonkers. Help! Any advice anyone?

[dinkystinkystein]

Try him in his own bed - maybe he's ready for that? He'll probably fill it with teddies and all sorts of stuff but happily go to bed there...

[slowreadingprogress]

You could try as dinky says, his own bed but then you do open up the possibility of him getting out and trotting around for hours on end each night. But it's got to happen sometime I guess!

I think basically it's either fight the battle and assert yourself over his will, or it's work round his needs. He seems to need a) his own bed and b) company. With my ds I went with the 'easy' approach and gave him what he desperately wanted - my or DH's company. but only on the understanding that we were with him while he dropped off, not if he was sitting up/talking/playing etc. He usually wanted our company more than he wanted to play around with the result that we left him to it and closed his stairgate.

I'm all for making bedtime calm and loving rather than a battleground

But it does depend on your child I think. Maybe I could have fought the good fight if it had been for one or two nights; but DS is way stronger and more determined than that.......

[lupiloona]

thanks, yep, i think you're right - seems to think he's ready for big boy bed. I'm about to build a top bunk for ds1 so that little monkey2 can have bottom bunk but have just come to the horrible realisation that ds2 will be leggin it up that ladder as soon as it's built to get into bed with his brother. ah...it's never simple!