DD (though not soD) is being completely obnoxious. Any advice?

[doiwant3]

I usually read, sometimes reply, but don't usually ask questions. Now I'm at a loss - please help me!
My daughter, aged 7 (nearly 8) has become increasingly obnoxious. If I'm honest, she's driving me mad. She's like a teenager, really rude, with no respect for me or her father, and horrible to her younger brother. She is very clever, has lovely manners and can be utterly charming when she wants to be - not so often now, though still usually out of the house/with guests. For example, she was just extremely rude and I asked her to go to her room. She refused and it went on. I asked her six times before she finally went. I then asked her once she had calmed down (or seemed to have) why I'd had to ask her six times. She said, throwing back her hair "seven actually." Aaagh.
What can I do? I've banned the computer for the weekend and threatened no trick or treating next week. I used to think I was quite good at this parenting lark and have had compliments in the past about my well behaved and lovely children. Hah! It is all changing and I am at a loss. Please help with any tips. I don't want her to be boring or just to do what we want all the time. I love that she has a personality. BUt she is rude and horrible nearly all the time now, and I am at my wit's end.

[SqueezyCheesyPumpkin]

Bump.

[junglist1]

Talk to her (when she's in a good mood). Tell her you think she's developed an attitude and you want it to stop. Ask her if there's anything bothering her. If she says no tell her you're there to listen if there is anything. List respectful ways of talking and both sign a contract. My 9 year old can be like this. It's normal. Expect slip ups with the contract thing but it's a good starting point

[totallyawesome]

My 8yo is also like this. And from what I can make out, so are all the others in the same class as hers (well, apart from the one Stepford Child, but I suspect this is just a mother lying in denial.

I talk to mine when she gives me the attitude and tell her how upsetting it is. I ask her how she would feel if I was behaving the same way.

Other than that, I'm not sure there's a whole lot we can do and just hope that when they come out the other end it has all worked out ok. I'm sure that we must have been the same () and we've turned out fine, haven't we?

I find myself chanting in my head "I am not alone".